38 Weeks

We took these photographs on Saturday because I'd been having contractions on and off for about 24 hours, and we were wondering if this might be our last opportunity to take some bump pictures. Sadly, it's Tuesday and the baby has not yet arrived, so here's an update on our pregnancy so far since, well, we're still pregnant!

How far along? 38 weeks & 4 days
Total weight gain/loss: Still 21lbs in total. I think I should be within the 25-30lb range by the end of my pregnancy, and I guess I'm technically already there if you count the 7lbs I gained and lost in the first 20 weeks when I was really sick. 
Maternity clothes? Since the baby has dropped, I'm starting to hang out of a lot of the tops that fitted me a couple of weeks ago. It's too warm to wear some of my maternity clothes (especially my jeans), so I'm pretty much rotating a few outfits that are suitable for summer and don't show of my belly too much.
Stretch marks? Still none! 
Sleep: It could be worse, I guess, but it's not great. I'm having to sleep with a pillow under my bump to stop it from being too uncomfortable, and it's an effort to roll over in bed. The last couple of nights I've woken up feeling nauseas several times, so it might be time to start taking my antisickness pills again, to see if it helps me get a better night's sleep.
Best moment this week: Contractions! Although we're a little disappointed that the baby hasn't made an appearance yet, we're definitely in the final stretch now. 
Movement: The baby has been a lot more active this weekend, so all is good on that front. 
Cravings/Aversions: I've been craving sugary/sweet stuff again, which may just be my body's way of trying to keep its energy up. 
Gender guesses: We've still only let it slip once, which is crazy. 
Labor Signs: Ooh, plenty. We had regular contractions on and off for about 48 hours, including a couple of hours on Sunday morning where I was getting them every five minutes, lasting 40 seconds each time. We really thought we were in labour, but then the contractions trailed off. I've also been having more backache, some nausea and headaches, and needing to pee constantly because the baby is sitting so low. Although it's exciting to feel like we're on our way to actually having this baby, it's also frustrating that I spent this weekend feeling drained from contractions and then it didn't actually go anywhere. 
What I miss: Having more than three outfits to choose from, being able to stay out in the sun without overheating within 20 minutes, putting on shoes without feeling like it's an olympic event, and being able to get things out of the cupboard under the sink without falling on my butt. (Which, incidentally, did not happen in a charity shop last week when I squatted down and reached for a book and overbalanced myself. I also did not just sit on the floor and try to make it look like I had intended to sit down to look through this particular volume. Nope). 
What I am looking forward to: The baby finally arriving! It could still be a few more weeks, but we're hoping it's a bit sooner than that.
Weekly Wisdom: If you've had, say, four or five false starts of pretty serious contractions in one weekend, it is totally acceptable to buy Tesco Finest cheesecake to cheer yourself up--especially if it's discounted. 
Milestones: Contractions have started! And also stopped. But still, we know what they're like now, and we definitely know how to use the stopwatch on my phone, so the practice run was useful for something. 

36 Weeks

We haven't done one of these in a while, and we're definitely glad to be entering the final month of our pregnancy! The last month was rather eventful--as well as finishing up our antenatal classes and gathering up most of our newborn/home birth supplies, I also took a nasty tumble and scraped my knees in a rather dramatic way, and then came down with a cold that jump-started my morning sickness. If you thought morning sickness at 8, 14 or 20 weeks was bad, it's even worse at 34 weeks. I'm very grateful for Cyclizine Hydrochloride and Peptac Liquid for allowing me to get through the day without puking, and actually get some sleep at night. 

Everyone keeps commenting on how I don't look particularly big, and as of my last midwife appointment, my bump was still measuring two weeks less than it should have, but trust me--I feel pretty big. This is the biggest I've ever been, after all! There are some days where I have tons of energy and get all of the housework done with little extra effort, and others where just standing at the sink washing dishes hurts my back and I don't really want to move. I feel like I'm constantly flipping back and forth between the extremes. 

We technically have just under four weeks left until our due date, but since only 5% of babies are born on their due dates, we're trying not to think of a specific day on which to expect the baby. Since we're having a home birth, we've been given a four week window in which the NHS will provide midwives to attend us at home (otherwise we'll have to go to the birthing centre or hospital), so we're just imagining that the baby will arrive within that period of time. Depending on how huge and uncomfortable I'm feeling, I may start guzzling raspberry leaf tea at 38 weeks, or I may feel brave enough to wait until we go overdue. 

We've had some lovely weather lately, and I've been trying to enjoy it, but Monday and Tuesday of last week were just a bit too much for me. Apparently it was only 21C on Tuesday, but it felt a lot worse than that--I was wearing a cotton sundress and dripping with sweat after just hanging out the washing. Normally I'd be outside all day long when the weather is this nice, but the heat tends to set off my Braxton Hicks, and as huge and uncomfortable as I sometimes feel, I'd rather not go into labour just yet. 

Also, our baby officially dropped as soon as we hit 36 weeks! I had a different midwife for my appointment on Monday, and she didn't believe that it could have dropped already as I was only measuring 34 weeks (my normal midwife has pretty much accepted that I'm always going to measure a bit less than average) but there is definitely more space to breathe, and the baby's head is officially making its way down. Pretty exciting! Even if it does mean that I need to pee even more than usual ;)

How far along? 36 weeks & 5 days
Total weight gain/loss: 21lbs. Apparently 25-30lbs is average for my pre-pregnancy BMI, so I'm happy with this. A few people have cheerfully told me that I'll balloon in the last few weeks, so we'll see if that happens. 
Maternity clothes? I'm down to a pretty limited wardrobe--lots of loose skirts and dresses, plus a few long tops and my two pairs of maternity jeans. This is more to do with the heat than my size, to be honest. I can still fit into a dress that has an age 13-14 label on it, so I'm kind of giving up on paying attention to clothing sizes right now.
Stretch marks? Still none! I'm not sure if this is genetic (my mum never got stretch marks with her first pregnancy) or because I've always kept my skin really hydrated with lots of body butter. 
Sleep: I've had one night last week where I slept for seven hours straight, which was downright miraculous. Because I'm getting occasional nausea (even with my antisickness pills) I sometimes wake up during the night feeling sick (generally because the baby is lying in a really awkward position). And I can't sleep past 8am because I always need to pee. Honestly, I can't predict how well I'm going to sleep right now. It's all over the place.
Best moment this week: Getting seven hours of uninterrupted sleep, and spending most of the day shopping with one of my friends. Just the fact that I managed to spend over half the day in town without getting too tired or uncomfortable was exciting for me! 
Movement: They're mostly still on a usual schedule (first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and sometimes around lunchtime) but it's hard to predict how strong the movements are going to be. Sometimes I barely notice them because I've got used to them, and then other times the baby gives some really sharp kicks. At the moment, most of the movements feel more like the baby is elbowing me than kicking me.
Cravings/Aversions: I've been craving sweet stuff a lot lately, and for the most part (except when I'm feeling nauseas or have heartburn) I'm eating more than usual. 
Gender guesses: We're still finding that everyone is pretty split in their guesses, and I think we've still managed to avoid letting the truth slip. Impressive!
Labor Signs: I think I must be getting used to Braxton Hicks now as I'm not noticing them as much. I can pretty much guarantee that I'll have them if I walk anywhere when it's relatively hot. And the baby dropping is a sign that we're definitely on our way, but that can happen up to four weeks before the baby's born, so it might still be a while.
Belly Button in or out? Still in. I don't think it's ever going to pop. 
What I miss: A lot of things! Uninterrupted sleep, being able to carry or reach for things without toppling over, being able to put on my shoes without major effort, and alcohol!
What I am looking forward to: This might sound kind of lame, but I'm looking forward to going shopping with my mum this weekend and finally getting fitted for nursing bras. I've changed bras three times so far in my pregnancy, and the cheapy, ugly, non-wired ones I picked up at Tesco (2 for £9) six weeks ago are starting to feel really uncomfortable. Mothercare has some really pretty stuff, so I'm going to treat myself to something attractive but practical. We also have a couple of final things to pick up for the baby, and then we'll be sorted :)
Weekly Wisdom: It's okay to feel ginormous even when everyone keeps telling you how small you are. They aren't carrying around an extra 1.5st on their front.
Milestones: We're into the final month! The third trimester has gone by really, really fast (in spite of dramatic bruises and morning sickness). I'm not sure if we feel ready, but we're nearly there :)

31 Weeks

How far along? 31 weeks & 5 days
Total weight gain/loss: Some of my friends said that their weight gain pretty much doubled in the final trimester, and I think that's going to happen to me as I seem to have put on a total of 17lbs now! Which amounts to 8lbs in the last three weeks, I think? It definitely makes sense, given how rapidly my bump is growing. 
Maternity clothes? Still half and half, surprisingly enough. Anything long and elasticated still fits. I'm amazed that all of my nightdresses (satin, ranging between sizes 8-12) still fit. Those things stretch in a surprising manner. I'm determined not to buy any new maternity things unless I can wear them after the baby is born and nurse in them, since it came to my attention this week that most of my maternity tops and dresses are entirely impractical for breast-feeding.
Stretch marks? Still none! 
Sleep: I'm definitely needing more and more of it, but I'm sleeping pretty well. Simon said that I occasionally make weird noises in my sleep and wake him up, and apparently I snored last night. 
Best moment this week: I don't think anything particularly astounding happened this week. We're just chugging along, trying to prepare for the baby's arrival. 
Movement: My midwife told me that the baby's movements are meant to become less noticeable in the third trimester (more like rocking motions than kicks) but so far I'm still getting lots of kicks and punches! The baby is still small enough that it can reposition itself several times in one hour--sometimes its head will be right below my ribs, and then off to the side, and then down the bottom. Its also had hiccups a few times this week. 
Cravings/Aversions: I flip between craving salty and sweet snacks on a daily basis, and I've definitely been eating more chocolate than usual. In general, I'm just more hungry than usual, which I'm taking as a good sign. I've never had a massive appetite, but this baby needs the extra calories.
Gender guesses: We've still managed to keep it a secret from most people, which even we're surprised by! It's still fun hearing everyone's guesses. Word of advice: We both really like the colour purple, so if we buy something purple for the baby, it's really not an indication of its gender. It's just our favourite colour. 
Labor Signs: None, but I'm having Braxton Hicks more often, especially whenever I walk somewhere. It's not too annoying, thankfully. I didn't actually realise I'd been having them until the midwife described them (far better than any book or website I'd perused) at our first antenatal class, and I was like, "Oh, that's what Braxton Hicks feels like? I've been having those for weeks!" 
Belly Button in or out? Still in. Simon is convinced that it's about to pop, but it's held on pretty well so far.
What I miss: Being able to bend over without the baby kicking me in protest. It's not very patient of mummy's need to shave her legs, tie her shoelaces or pick up anything she's dropped on the floor.
What I am looking forward to: Getting our changing table! We've received a huge amount of baby clothes (especially since some friends have a five-month-old and gave us all the things their baby had grown out of) and I'm looking forward to being able to put everything away into drawers, rather than having a pile of bags in the corner of our study. I think we'll feel more ready once everything is organised. 
Weekly Wisdom: It's okay if you want to throttle everyone who says "Wow, you're huge!" In fact, you should probably just get a T-shirt made up that says, "Yes, I know I'm huge, you don't have to remind me."
Milestones: I don't think we've hit any particular milestones this week, but people have started commenting on my bump, which was a long time in coming. It genuinely took until 29 weeks before anyone who didn't already know I was expecting asked about my pregnancy. So far it's just been our upstairs neighbour (who very politely asked me if I was "with child") and one of the cashiers in Tesco, but it still seems like an achievement!

28 Weeks

In the last few weeks I have been informed by several people that my bump is "neat". As far as I can tell, what they mean by this is that I still have a defined waistline, I haven't put on weight anywhere except my bump (and my boobs, but most people are too polite to comment on that) and my bump is all in the front. You still can't see it from behind. I'm convinced it's more obvious from the left side than the right, but maybe that's just me? Either way, there is definitely a bump, but somehow I still fit into this age 13-14 dress from Asda. 

More importantly, we're officially into the third trimester! Now is the time for antenatal classes, slightly more midwife appointments (all of them rather unexciting, since there's not much to discuss with a ridiculously low risk pregnancy like ours, thankfully!), ordering our pram and deciding on a birth plan. Simon's ideas on what to include in our birth plan? "Having a baby." Anything we definitely don't want to happen at the birth? "Not having a baby." As you can see, we're making fantastic progress on that item on our to-do list.

How far along? 28 weeks & 1 day
Total weight gain/loss: Still at 9lbs, so I haven't gained anything in the last couple of weeks, but I haven't lost anything either! 
Maternity clothes? I'm still managing to fit into some of my old clothes--mostly long tops and elasticated skirts and loose dresses--but I love my maternity jeans. So comfy!
Stretch marks? Still none! Given the rate that my bump seems to be growing at, I'm rather surprised.
Sleep: I'm not as tired as I have been the last couple of weeks, but I'm having weird dreams and can't seem to sleep in past 7:30am. Either the baby's movements are waking me up, or it's my bladder. 
Best moment this week: Reaching the third trimester! It's exciting and scary at the same time. 
Movement: The baby has actually been a little quieter the last few days, but its movements are pretty consistent, and sometimes we can actually see my belly moving. There was one day when I was having horrible backache, and then we saw the baby very obviously kick right below my ribcage, so its position explained why I'd been in so much pain! And then it moved around and kicked at my side. According to my midwife, the movements will change over the next month as the baby has less room to move, and I think I'll miss the usual activity!
Cravings/Aversions: I've really been craving chocolate lately, and the other day I was in the mood for pizza. I guess that counts?
Gender guesses: A lot of people have told us they think it's a girl. It's fun listening to everyone's guesses, and we're honestly surprised we've managed to keep it a secret this long ;)
Labor Signs: None, although I have been researching Braxton Hicks so I know what to look out for, especially given how bad my backache has been recently. 
Belly Button in or out? Still in. I'm starting to think it's never going to pop. 
What I miss: Wine. I've not had a glass of wine since September, when we first started trying to get pregnant, and I'm finally starting to properly miss it. 
What I am looking forward to: Our baby shower tomorrow! Some friends from church are throwing us a very low-key baby shower, and we're really excited about it :)
Weekly Wisdom: Just smile and nod whenever anyone tells you that you barely look pregnant, even though you feel as big as a house and struggle to lean over to put your socks on in the morning. 
Milestones: We've reached the third trimester! Which means I'm flip-flopping between being excited that our baby will be here soon, and freaking out that we're not organised enough. Simon is being incredibly patient and, naturally, not worrying at all.

26 Weeks

How far along? 26 weeks & 5 days
Total weight gain/loss: 9lbs! Probably still less that I'm supposed to have gained, but I haven't lost any weight in a long time, so I'm happy.
Maternity clothes? It's about half and half. I have two pairs of maternity jeans and several new long tops/dresses, but some of them are just larger sizes than I normally wear. I'm still able to wear some of my longer tops and elasticated skirts. The one in this picture, for example, I usually wear on my waist, but I expanded the waist-band and it fits just under my bump. 
Stretch marks? Surprisingly, none! My bump has grown a lot lately and I keep looking for them, but none have appeared so far.
Sleep: Sometimes broken (I think the baby's movements are starting to wake me up during the night) and I'm obviously needing more sleep as I fell asleep on the sofa at 8pm on Monday and 9.30pm last night, both times with the lights on and a film playing. 
Best moment this week: I don't think anything particularly major happened this week, besides my bump getting bigger and the baby moving around even more than usual. We did get our Moses basket last week, which was exciting!
Movement: We can almost time the baby's movements now--it's always very active first thing in the morning, then between 7-9 every night. If I've been moving around or doing a lot of walking during the day, it'll suddenly get very active as soon as we get into bed. And if I'm ever sitting or lying down for a period of time during the day it makes its presence known :) And it still loves bath time!
Cravings/Aversions: I want to say that I've been craving sweet things more this week, but maybe that's because we have lots of Easter chocolate sitting around ;)
Gender guesses: We're not telling! ;)
Labor Signs: None, although Simon had a dream about the labour last night and apparently it was super easy and the baby "popped out" (his words) before the midwife got here. He seemed quite comforted by this dream, but I was a little more disconcerted. I think I'd prefer to have a midwife on hand. 
Belly Button in or out? Still in. I kept thinking for ages that it was going to pop, but it hasn't. 
What I miss: Being able to bend over without overbalancing myself. 
What I am looking forward to: Reaching the end of the second trimester! We only have a week and a bit left to go. 
Weekly Wisdom: Since you're supposed to be getting an extra 200 calories a day when you're pregnant, you're totally allowed to eat as much Easter chocolate as you like. 
Milestones: We got our Moses basket last week (although it's still at my parents' house until closer to our due date) and my bump suddenly got a lot bigger in the last couple of days. I'd kind of got used to the size it was and kept thinking, "Huh, it's not really that big, to be honest" and then WHAM, it feels like it tripled in size in two days! So hopefully this will stop people from saying "Oh, you're barely showing!" 

24 Weeks

We've gotten a little lazy about posting regular pregnancy updates. I think this is partially because we've been doing more lately, now that I have slightly more energy and haven't been throwing up. Plus, we're now at the stage where our baby is really active and I'm not feeling the need to constantly look up its new developments each week. It helps that we ended up having three foetal anomaly scans (as the baby was in the wrong position for the first two) so I'm absolutely certain that the baby is doing fine. 

Instead of the usual post, I thought I'd share some things I've learned so far in my pregnancy.

1. Hair & Nails: Everyone tells you that being pregnant will make your hair luscious and shiny and your nails beautiful, but I've not experienced this. I already have pretty shiny hair, and it's still shiny--but also very, very tangled. My nails seem to be breaking a lot more easily than usual, too. Either this one is an old wives' tale, or my nails and hair have hit their peak and started to go downhill. 

2. Emotions: Although I do tend to cry more than usual at any film, book or TV show that deals with parenting or children (even if the children in question are closer to my age than our baby's) I've not been as emotional as I anticipated. I've heard plenty of stories about pregnant women crying at the drop of a hat, but I think I've had one emotional day every fortnight, which is a lot less than before I got pregnant! Pregnancy seems to have completely off-set my Seasonal Affective Disorder this year, which I am so thankful for.

3. Cravings: People keep asking me if I'm having cravings. Occasionally I think, "Hmm, I'd like to eat X", but it ends up being more, "I'll plan this meal for next week" rather than, "Simon, you must go out and buy this for me immediately." When I get hungry, I tend to switch between wanting to eat something sweet or savoury, but that's the closest I've got to having cravings. 

4. Caffeine: The current "Avoid this if you're pregnant" craze seems to be fixated on caffeine, and maybe women who are addicted to Starbucks will have issues with this, but it's not been a big deal for me. I drink tea (which contains a lot less caffeine than coffee) and I'm a big fan of herbal tea, so keeping my caffeine consumption within my self-imposed four-cups-a-day limit has been pretty easy. 

5. Energy: Apparently I'm meant to have tons of energy right now, because I'm in the second trimester, but my energy levels are seriously fluctuating. Some days I can stay out at a friend's house all evening and not get back until 11pm and feel fine, but on others my energy droops the minute Simon gets home from work and I fall asleep on the sofa at 8pm. I really can't predict it, so I'm just trying to get as much done before 5pm as I can. If we cancel plans unexpectedly, we're not being rude--I'm probably half-asleep. And seriously, if you invite us to an event that doesn't start until 9pm we will laugh at you. 

6. Sleep: Talking of sleep, everybody keeps recommending fancy, expensive pillows that will take up half the bed. Aside from two weeks right at the start of the second trimester, I haven't needed any extra pillow support. I've read warnings about not sleeping on your back, but since I'm normally a side-sleeper this hasn't been an issue--plus, sleeping on my back is just uncomfortable right now, so I wake up if I lie in that position for too long. The biggest problem with the no-back-sleeping rule? I can't lie on the grass to read in the sun. My neighbours must think I'm loopy for bringing a bean-bag out on to the front lawn, but it works. 

7. Reading: After reading four pregnancy books, I kind of got burned out. Although I read a lot, I'm not actually much of a non-fiction reader. I made a big list of pregnancy and parenting books that were available within the Edinburgh library system, but in the end if I only read four. By the time I finished the fourth one, I felt like all the information was getting repetitive. I'm not saying I know everything about pregnancy, but I don't feel so worried that I want to constantly look things up. Here's what I ended up reading:

• What to Expect When You're Expecting (4th edition) by Heidi Murkoff & Sharon Mazel -- This one is great for looking up specific issues and ailments in the extensive index, and for finding out what your baby and body will be experiencing each week or month. The information on midwife/doctor's appointments is absolutely useless if you're in the UK (even in the UK edition, bizarrely), and I skipped the healthy eating/exercise section as it's overwhelming. As long as you eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables and do some walking, you'll be fine. The labour section is brief compared to other books, but honest. Some people said this book made them worried about everything, but personally I like being able to look things up and feeling relieved when I find that X or Y is perfectly normal. It's not one to read from cover-to-cover--and perhaps reading about all the possible ailments and complications all at once could be scary.
• The Christian Mama's Guide to Having a Baby by Erin McPherson -- I got this free on my Kindle a couple of years ago, and while the title is cheesy and some parts are completely irrelevant to a non-US audience, I actually really enjoyed it. I appreciated the down-to-earth honesty of the author, who talked about her own mistakes and worries during her pregnancy rather than lecturing on how you should do things. I read this book before my morning sickness really kicked in, and there's a massive section on morning sickness that I probably would have appreciated more towards the end of the first trimester. This book is pretty patronising towards husbands, which I didn't love, but aside from that it was an encouraging read.
• Expecting Better by Emily Oster -- If I had to recommend one book for every pregnant woman to read, it would be this one. After reading and hearing conflicting information on whether alcohol/caffeine/fish/lunch-meat/etc is safe to consume while pregnant, I really appreciated Oster's approach to figuring out the facts behind the warnings pregnant women are given. Oster examines medical research in various situations--everything from sleeping on your back to drinking coffee to common painkillers--and lays out all the evidence to help the reader make an informed decision. This was the book that stopped me from constantly worrying about my caffeine intake. If you're wondering about the risks of Listeria or something similar, read this book rather than randomly Googling--it'll be a lot less frightening. The parts of this book that related to midwife/doctor's appointments and labour were very American, and the chapter on home births was much briefer than I would have liked, so those are the main downfalls of this otherwise helpful book.
• The Babymoon Experience by Caroline Deacon -- I picked this book up at the library because I came to collect another one that I'd ordered and the librarian couldn't locate it. I wanted to read something to do with pregnancy, and this was on the shelf. I have really mixed feelings about this book. On the one hand, I appreciated that the author encouraged women not to feel the need to rush back into normal life after having a baby, and to take time our to bond with their baby and recuperate. But I also felt she was a little extreme, suggesting that you sequester yourself in your bedroom in your nightclothes for 2-6 weeks post-delivery. The chapters on labour, recovery and breastfeeding were fantastic and very informative and encouraging, but the tone was rather patronising (and like McPherson's book, rather dismissive of husbands) and she seemed very biased towards certain issues, like co-sleeping and non-medical pain relief. This one is worth reading for the chapters on labour, etc, but some of the other information (diet and exercise, for example) is nearly identical to What to Expect, except the tone is worse.

8. Movement: After being told by every book, website and person on the planet that first-time mums don't feel their baby's movements until at least 18 weeks, if not 22--I felt movements at 15, and Simon was able to feel then at 16. The movements were pretty inconsistent to begin with, and while they nearly always came in the evening, I didn't feel them every day initially. In the last week or so we've been consistently feeling them every morning at 7am and every evening at 8pm, so the baby is obviously in a routine. I'm starting to feel them more in the middle of the day as well, especially if I'm sitting or lying down. The baby tends to be quite active when I'm in the bath (which is where Simon was first able to feel it) but I'm not sure if this is specifically linked to the water, or because I take baths in the evening when the baby usually moves around.

9. Herbal Remedies: I might not be going to completely down the route of replacing my medicine cabinet with herbal remedies, but I did invest in a couple of essential oils early in the second trimester and they've come in handy. I occasionally get tension headaches, which could only be eased by ibuprofen pre-pregnancy (and ibuprofen is one of the painkillers that everyone agrees is to be avoided during pregnancy), and I've found that a drop of lavender oil mixed with a mixer oil (like grapeseed) then rubbed on my forehead is very effective at easing headaches. Simon actually tried this recently when he was feeling ill, and he also found it relaxing. I've also been using peppermint oil with a mixer for backaches. Honestly, I'm not sure if the peppermint oil itself is helpful, or just using some sort of massage oil, but my backaches aren't as bad as they used to be. 

10. Pregnancy Talk: There are some points where I just get bored of talking about pregnancy and the baby. It's not that I'm not excited, but sometimes it feels like it's the only thing people want to talk about when I'm around. My entire identity doesn't revolve upon my pregnancy, and sometimes it's just nice to talk about something else for a change. It's so refreshing to talk about books or cooking or anything other than "Yep, I'm still having a baby, and it's still kicking me and making me feel nauseas." Seriously, it's totally okay to ask me for my favourite pancake recipe or what my opinion is on Season 5 of Castle. I won't be offended if you don't mention the baby straight away.

21 Weeks

How far along? 21 weeks & 5 days
Total weight gain/loss: I've actually gained 5lbs! Finally. 
Maternity clothes? Definitely. I only have a few tops that still cover my stomach, so I think it's time to invest in some maternity tops.
Stretch marks? None
Sleep: Better this week, but I'm struggling to go out in the evenings as I start to feel drained about 6pm every night. I can stay awake, but I don't really feel like doing much.
Best moment this week: Technically this happened last week, but since I didn't do a blog post, I think I can count this here ;) Our best moment was definitely getting to see our baby again at our 20-week ultrasound! It was really exciting to see it moving around (not doing somersaults like last time, but it was kicking its feet) and seeing how it was growing. It sounds weird, but it's pretty cool getting to see its bones and heart valves and stuff like that. 
Movement: The baby is getting more and more active, and I actually got worried that it was being too active at one point, but apparently that's not something to be concerned about ;) Sometimes it kicks me quite hard, and at least twice we've felt it having hiccups. Pretty exciting!
Cravings/Aversions: I've been craving sweet things this week, which is actually good as we still have tons of Christmas chocolate left ;)
Gender guesses: You guys can keep guessing, but we already know! ;)
Labor Signs: None, although I did have a dream about going into labour last night, so clearly it's been on my mind.
Belly Button in or out? Still in, but I don't think it'll stay that way for much longer.
What I miss: Having more than two pairs of jeans to choose between ;)
What I am looking forward to: Buying baby things! I've managed to hold off buying too many baby things until now (everything we've got so far can literally fit into a plastic carrier bag) but now that we're more than halfway there I'm starting to peruse the clearance rack in the Baby section of Tesco for tiny t-shirts ;)
Weekly Wisdom: It is totally acceptable to delegate floor sweeping to your husband so you don't hurt your back. 
Milestones: Over the last two weeks, we've had a lot! 20-week ultrasound, hearing the baby's heartbeat, buying some baby clothes together, finding out the sex of the baby, deciding on a name, and my bump has officially got to the stage where nothing I wear will hide it. A pretty exciting couple of weeks, all in all :)

Balanced Challenge: Day 11: A Few Important Thoughts that Will Transform Your Schedule

In today's challenge, Tricia talks about different issues you can consider and ponder that can alter your schedule, and hopefully make your life more enjoyable and your work more effective! I really liked the suggestions she gave. Here are where my thoughts took me:

1. Take time to ponder where you’re falling short.
At the moment, I'm not having any trouble tackling my housework. There might be a few on-going tasks that get left to the end of my to-do list, but these are usually "I'll do these when I get to them" tasks like cleaning the windowsills or washing our chair-covers, not essential tasks like laundry or cooking. I think I'm doing pretty well in this area of my life.
However, I do find myself getting too wrapped up in housework (even non-essential housework) and pushing my writing to the side. When I was battling morning sickness, I allowed myself to do this, as I just couldn't focus on anything non-essential, but now that my health is a lot better, I'd like to make more of an effort with my writing. I think I need to schedule time each day for writing, and I'm trying to set aside 3-4pm each day for this.
I also need to be more effective with my editing work for The Christian Manifesto. I used to schedule an hour for this as well (at different points in my life this has been at different times: when I was a student, I used to answer emails, etc, between 8-9am, and when we graduated I moved this to directly after lunch, 1-2pm). I need to pick an hour that suits me and stick to it, rather than getting distracted by emails later in the day when I should be writing.

2. Take time to build teamwork in your family.
I'm learning to accept that even if I am a housewife, that doesn't mean that I need to do all the housework. There are some things Simon has always done, like emptying bins, but I'm learning to ask for help in other areas on the occasions where I'm too tired or nauseas to do something. And also to delegate tasks that I just can't manage any more; bending over to sweep the kitchen floor is getting uncomfortable. I need to remember that asking for help doesn't mean that I'm failing in my role as a housewife.

3. Take time to prioritize.
This is definitely something I've been working on a lot lately. Yesterday I even highlighted several items on my to-do list that I know I really want to achieve this weekend, which means the rest can wait until Monday. Prioritising makes life so much more manageable and lists seem a lot less overwhelming. 

4. Take time to praise.
There's always something to praise God for and be thankful for, even if you're having a bad day. Even just starting your prayers by thanking God for one, small thing can make such a difference. 

Right now, I'm thankful that Tricia took the time out of her busy life to write Balanced. I've been really blessed by this book, and I think I read it at the perfect time in my life. I'm sure I'll gain even more wisdom if I come back to read it when I our little one arrives and I'm balancing even more. 

I truly appreciated the concluding chapter of Balanced. Tricia writes:

"Balance isn't the ultimate goal. A quest for balance leads to frustration and exhaustion. I never have a day when I achieve the perfect balance of work, family, God, and friends. It's impossible. There are always interruptions. If we are working with real-life people, we cannot schedule our time as if we were simply sitting at the computer all day."

Honestly, I think I need to write those words on a sheet of paper and stick it to my desk. Balance doesn't mean perfection, and I'd hate to ever view my husband or children as interrupting my life. If anything, they are welcome interruptions. I feel truly blessed that I can work from home, even if it means I don't have a traditional 9-5 schedule. In fact, on nice days like today, being able to leave my desk to hang up the washing outside is definitely a nice distraction, because I get to enjoy the wonderful weather ;) And I definitely don't feel left out because I don't have to put on a suit and sit on a crowded bus for half an hour every morning! 

If you're a work-at-home mum, or you're thinking about becoming one, I definitely recommend Balanced. As a writer, I particularly appreciated Tricia's advice on that topic, and reading this book has encouraged me to get stuck back into my writing after several months of pushing it to the side. I might not have the perfect, efficient schedule for approaching my writing, but I'm determined to try.

This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!

Balanced Challenge: Day 10: How to Say “No” (And 8 Things to Say “Yes” To)

The story that Tricia shared on her blog today definitely struck a chord with me. She talks about forcing herself not to volunteer for a certain activity at church, even though she knows she's capable of doing it, because she knows she can't stretch herself too thin. One of the recurring themes in Balanced is about how sometimes an opportunity can look good (either in its benefits for us or for others) but it might not be the right thing to do. Perhaps the timing is wrong, or you'd have to give up something more important. I know that I can be guilty of almost volunteering for something simply because a) I know I can do it, or b) I know it's important and no one else is volunteering. But honestly--are those the best reasons to do something? Nowhere in there did I say that I almost volunteer for something because I want to do it. And that's the crux of the problem.

I loved Tricia's challenge for this week, and even before taking notes or blogging about it, I discussed it with my husband over dinner. We had fun trying to come up with our "Eight Life Themes". Eight seemed like a lot initially, but after we discussed them it was pretty easy to come up with eight things that are important to each of our lives. Here are mine:

1. Being a Christian
2. Being Simon's wife
3. Being a mother
4. Writing
5. Being a housewife
6. Editing at The Christian Manifesto
7. Reading and reviewing books
8. Cooking and baking

I feel like identifying these eight themes will be helpful in figuring out what to say Yes or No to. If the opportunity doesn't line up with any of the issues that are particularly important to my life right now, should I really pursue it? Or is my time and energy better spent elsewhere? Even something seemingly good (like volunteering at church or for a charity) might not be overly beneficial if it takes away from my time with my family or my writing, or even the things that keep me relaxed and sane, like reading and cooking.

Identifying these themes also helped me and Simon to decide how we're going to approach the ways we serve at church once we have a child. At the moment, I work with the young children and serve on the hospitality team, while Simon works with the older children and plays in the band. Because of how the rota system currently works, we're each serving two out of four weeks every month. While we're comfortable with this right now, we've decided to take time out at the end of June, so we can enjoy a few more weeks (maybe even a month!) just being in church, before our baby comes. After that, we'll have plenty of time to figure out how much time and energy we can devote to serving with a little baby (getting to the centre of Edinburgh for 9:30am to set up church might be a challenge with a newborn!) Ultimately, even if we know we're doing something good in volunteering at church, our family should always come first. And we also don't want to be volunteering so much that we don't have time to just be in church and enjoy the worship, sermons and fellowship.

This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!

Balanced Challenge: Day 9: How to Find Inspiration

Chapter 9 of Balanced started out with a quote that definitely spoke right to my heart:

"Most of all we just need permission. Permission to slow down. Permission to discover our deepest purpose. And permission to follow God-breathed dreams even when we still have kids at home."

I think a lot of work-at-home parents must be struck with conflicting feelings over whether to follow their dreams (even just for fifteen minutes) rather than tending to household chores or devoting themselves wholeheartedly to their kids. Does it make me a terrible wife or mother if I choose to write for an hour rather than tackling the ironing pile? 

I imagine that this conflict will get stronger when we have a little one in the house. In fact, having seen how friends with babies and small children are getting on with their lives, it seems like life is more challenging with a child who is toddling around, attempting to walk, and climbing or reaching into awkward places every time your back is turned. At least a newborn sleeps a lot and can't go very far, right? ;) 

In the midst of housework and raising children, it can be hard to find inspiration. Tricia shares the ways in which she opens herself up to receiving inspiration on a daily basis on her blog today. It made me think about how ideas come to me, and I'm not sure if I'm quite so intentional about making myself ready to find inspiration. Maybe it's because I'm not battling several small children to get to my desk and write, but at the moment, I tend to have ideas come to me quite easily. 

In particular, over the last couple of months, I've often woken up with ideas in my head--not just snippets, but often rough storylines and distinct characters. I haven't had this happen quite so much recently, but it was a great encouragement to me in the days when I was battling morning sickness and barely felt up to washing the dishes, let alone sitting down to write. When I did feel up to being creative, but only had a few minutes at my disposal, I would type up these ideas that had come to me in the waking hours. I'm not sure where I'm going to go with these ideas (currently sitting in a OneNote notebook provisionally and horribly titled: The Princess and the Security Guard, Professing Love, Rockstar Roommate & The Other Boy Next Door) but they're there when I'm ready for them. Sometimes I do end coming back to ideas years after I first scribble them down. Just the other day I found my original, paper notes for the novel I'm currently editing. Although it's changed a lot since I first came up with the idea in 2009, the original setting and some of the characters are still the same.

Two nuggets of wisdom particularly stuck out to me from today's challenge. First: dedicate your writing to the the Lord each day in prayer. Second: Write something, every day. Even if it's a scribbled idea on a post-it or a single paragraph of your current work-in-progress, just write something.

This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!

Balanced Challenge: Day 8: 3 Ways to Make Today Amazing

Balanced talks a lot about putting joy into your day, or being joyful in everything you do, no matter how mundane. It might sound bizarre to be joyful while hanging up laundry or shopping for groceries, but it definitely beats dwelling over all the other things on my to-do list that are still waiting for my attention. Having a joyful heart can really out a positive spin on the outcome of every day, and I'm trying to remember to insert some joy into every day.

Today, Tricia suggests three ways in which we can add more joy into our lives: Be thankful, play, and give. Here are some ways in which I try to add these things into my life:

1. Be Thankful. I've tried keeping thankfulness journals and other written methods of recording my thankfulness and none of them have been entirely successful. Instead, Simon and I make an effort to pray over our evening meals and, out of habit, we always list two things we're thankful for (often things that are on our plates!) We also always start our evening prayers listing those things we're thankful for.
2. Play! While we might not have little ones to play with yet, we do enjoy playing games together. Simon has been amassing a rather large board game collection over the last few years, and we try to play a game together at least once a week--sometimes a quick, smaller game like Carcassonne or Lost Cities, or a longer game that takes all evening, like Ora et Labora or Tales of the Arabian Nights. We've also played video games together, including LA Noire on the computer (not technically a two-player game, but we work through it together) and Little Big Planet and NHL14 on the PS3 (much to my surprise, I'm actually pretty good at virtual hockey. Racing games are an entirely different story, sadly). We have fun researching games and figuring out which ones we'll enjoy playing together.
3. Give. We periodically donate clothes, books, films, CDs, ornaments and miscellaneous items that we're no longer using to charity--or to people we think will benefit from them. Since my brother is about the same height as Simon (but skinnier), he often gets Simon's old clothes, and we've made up bags of duplicate kitchen items for both of our brothers over the years (Simon's brother is just finishing university and mine is just about to start). A few months ago we found a collection of unused folders that had previously stored my work from high school and the first two years of university, and we managed to find students in our current church who could use them. Not only does it feel great to make space for the things we need (particularly with a baby coming soon!) but it's encouraging to know that items that are sitting unused in our house will be appreciated in their new homes.

Not only are these items beneficial to me, but having an attitude of thankfulness, playfulness and generosity will hopefully set a great example to my kids someday. 

This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!

Balanced Challenge: Day 7: Chores for All the Family

I've read a lot of Amish fiction over the last few years, and while there are some things about their lifestyle that I don't agree with, I definitely admire the way that the whole family works together, including young children. I remember tidying my room when I was young, and washing dishes and ironing when I was in my preteen years, but other than that I don't think I was particularly involved in household chores. By the time I left home at eighteen, I knew how to cook some basic meals and operate a washing machine, but I don't think I'd ever scrubbed a toilet, mopped a floor or cleaned an oven. I had a lot of learning to do in my first year of university. Based on my experiences, I'd like to involve my children in household chores from a young age so that they can gradually build up their ability to manage housework.

Since my own child won't be born until August, I don't have any advice to give on age-appropriate chores, but Tricia lists some great examples on her blog. Even three-year-olds can be involved in something as simple as putting laundry into a washing basket or carrying dishes to the sink. They might not be terribly efficient or tidy to begin with, and this is something I'll have to learn to let go of. Sometimes I ask my husband to help hand up laundry, and I find myself readjusting half the clothes because they're not hanging in a manner which is going to help them dry quickly, but I know he tried and that the clothes will dry--eventually. More importantly, he took a burden off my shoulders by helping! It's the same for children--they won't learn how to do something if we take the task away from them and do it for them because they're not doing it perfectly the first time. Tricia talks a lot about letting go of unrealistic expectations in today's chapter, and I particularly appreciated her comments about how having a desire for perfectionism at all times not only sets us up for failure, but it can also damage our spouses and our children if they don't feel like they measure up. 

Another reason I'd like to involve our children in housework from a young age is so that it becomes part of the natural rhythm of family life. Instead of seeing their assigned activities as "chores" that they have to do in order to be allowed to play outside or watch TV, I hope that in participating in such activities from a young age, our children will see that helping around the home is part of being a family, and something we do to help each other. They might not necessarily look forward to washing the dishes or sorting socks, but hopefully it won't be something they dread either! 

This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!

Balanced Challenge: Day 6: How to Find Time to Clean During Your Day

Unlike Tricia, I don't have a houseful of family members to chase after while trying to tackle housework. My husband might not be the neatest man on the planet, but I do usually manage to do a fair amount of housework each day. But that doesn't mean that I don't value the importance of finding a few moments here and there to undertake small tasks that, when added up, can feel overwhelming. In Day 6's challenge, Tricia asks:

How do you use those random minutes throughout the day to clean?

Here are some I came up with:

• If I need to run errands outside the house, I try to join them together to save time. I go grocery shopping on Mondays and Thursdays, and I often visit the library or the bank on my way there, so I don't have to take time out of the day to walk that direction again the next day. Since my midwife appointments fall on Mondays, and the GP's practice is on the way to the supermarket, I combine these also.
• I always wipe down the counters in the kitchen after doing the dishes. We might only have one and a half counters to clean, but even if the floor still has crumbs on it and the hob needs a good scrub, clean counters make the kitchen look so much nicer.
• It's amazing what you can achieve while waiting for the kettle to boil or toast to pop. Sometimes I take the recycling outside, sweep the kitchen floor, refill pasta jars, etc.
• I used to have a rule that if I was going upstairs or downstairs, I'd take something with me--a mug to put in the kitchen, ironed clothes to take upstairs, etc. Now that we live in a one-storey house, I don't have this rule, but since our dining-room and study are combined, I try to take any dishes that are leftover from breakfast or lunch back into the kitchen every time I get another cup of tea or check on the laundry. 

I'm often a bit intimidated by people who have colour-coded spreadsheets or calendars where they schedule a different item for each hour of the day. I've found that some tasks are helped by scheduling (like writing, which I often neglect in favour of laundry or cooking dinner) and others can be loosely scheduled (I always shop on Mondays and Thursdays, but not at the same time each week). Even if a detailed schedule works for Tricia, I appreciated her advice that, "It doesn't matter what system you use, as much as the fact that you're doing it." Find something that works for you, and stick to it. If this means giving up on a system you've been failing at for months and years, try something new and see if it suits you better! Perhaps different systems suit different periods in your life. Right now I don't need to find hidden moments to fold laundry or wash dishes, but I'm sure I'll appreciate nap time when I have a newborn! 

My favourite quote from today's challenge is this: "Do what you can, when you can." Sometimes we beat ourselves up for not achieving as much as our friends or neighbours, or even as much as we achieved last week or last year. But the important thing, which we often forget, is that we're trying and we're achieving something, no matter how small. Maybe it's not at the time we'd planned or hoped for--sometimes I do wash dishes at 10pm at night on a busy day!--but we're doing it, and that's what counts. I think this is a quote I need to add to my whiteboard on my desk in big, red letters so I don't ever forget it.

This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!

Balanced Challenge: Day 5: Balancing Your Calendar

Some parts of Balanced have been challenging, forcing me to rethink the way I'm approaching a certain situation or topic. Others, like today's chapter, are encouraging and make me think, "Huh, I'm already dealing with this quite well." 

I'm not the kind of person who schedules every minute detail of my life on a calendar, as I've already revealed. But that doesn't mean that I fall prey to accidentally overscheduling myself either, and I'm thankful for my mum's lessons in this. I don't follow my parents' examples in everything, but one life lesson that my mum did teach me (perhaps even unintentionally) was that it's okay to say "No" to opportunities, even if it is something that you like the sound or know will benefit someone. I remember a point in my childhood when my mum was doing a lot of things--working full-time, helping me and my brother with our homework in the evenings, shouldering a large part of the housework and volunteering at church, among many other things. She hit her breaking point, and I remember her making a big deal about learning how to say "No" in the future to stop herself getting over-stretched.

Tricia's challenge for today was to go through my schedule and split items into those I need to do (housework, grocery shopping), those I should do (attend church, spend time with extended family), those I want to do (write, work for TCM) and those I feel obligated to do. The last category is namely for things I do because I feel guilty if I don't do them, or I do them because they make me or my family look better. And thankfully, I couldn't think of a lot to put in there. I could think of a few times I've been given the chance to volunteer in a certain area at church, but I've turned these opportunities down because I know that I'm already serving in other areas that are better suited to my skills and time. I've already experienced how horrible it can be to be so over-stretched in volunteering at church that you don't even look forward to attending any more, and as such, I've made a consistent effort to not get into that situation again. 

Tricia also suggested cutting down on items in the third category (things I want to do) if you're feeling overwhelmed, and this is something I've already been examining in advance of our baby coming this summer. Right now, I'm able to mostly cope with writing, working for TCM, writing reviews and serving at church. But when summer comes, it'll take me a while to get back into my usual patterns, and there might be some things I have to set aside for a season. I have to be picky about what I really want to commit to. For now, I've decided that writing is my top priority, and the one thing I want to definitely get back to once we're settled in with our baby. As such, I'm already training a couple of the writers from TCM up to cover a few tasks around the website. Even if it's something small like updating our social media pages or uploading reviews, it takes some burdens off my day. I've also not committed to writing any reviews or serving at church past the end of June. That's something I'll have to reassess nearer the time. 

I'm not perfect. There are times when I'm sure I overcommit--I volunteer to cook or bake for a certain event when our week is already busy or it's near the end of the month and our food budget is already stretched. I consider signing up to something at church that needs extra helpers because I know I can do it--but do I really want to do it? I like Tricia's advice that "The first step in figuring out your priorities is cutting out what are not your priorities so you have space for what's important." If something is going to take time away for those things that matter most to me (my husband, my baby or my writing) then perhaps it's time to rethink why it's part of my schedule. 

This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!