Quinn at Six Weeks

Quinn is six weeks old already! Everyone told us that life went very quickly with a new baby, and that babies grow up so fast, but we didn't entirely believe them. We've been focusing on just taking each day as it comes, but the days have passed very quickly. And now our baby is six weeks (and three days) old!

Six weeks doesn't seem like a terribly massive milestone, but it hit me the other day that he's already halfway to being three months old. And that means it isn't too long until he'll be fitting into his 3-6 month clothing--which right now, looks enormous.

That said, Quinn has already grown out of most of his newborn clothing. All of his newborn vests and sleepsuits are packed away, and we're on the verge of doing the same with his tops and trousers. At the moment, he seems to be putting on about a pound every fortnight, making him 10lbs 3oz at his last check on Tuesday. And although it's incredibly difficult to get a baby to stay still long enough to measure his height, he's gained about 6cm since he was born, putting him at 58cm.

It's really strange looking at pictures of newborn Quinn, since he's changed so much since then. In addition to stretching out and chunking up, his hair is definitely lighter, and it has a sort of auburn/blonde tint to it. I'm convinced his eyes are a little lighter as well (they were almost navy blue when he was born) but it'll be a while before we know exactly what colour they end up.

As well as growing out (really, you should see his little belly) and up, Quinn has been making some exciting (well, to us) developments in terms of movement. If you lie him on your chest he can lift his head up for a few seconds at a time; we've tried lying him on his belly on his playmat to see if he'll enjoy doing the same thing there, but he's not such a big fan of the "tummy time" every leaflet and website insists is essential to his development. He prefers to practice lifting his head when he's lying on us, not a mat.

Quinn doesn't like being carried or held like a baby, except when he's feeding or very sleepy. His favourite positions are sitting up on our laps, facing out so he can see everything, or lying along your forearm, with his head at the crook of your elbow. I really need to get a picture of this as it's impossible to explain, but we call it "Flying Baby" as we often walk around the room holding him like this when he's being fussy.

Talking of being fussy, Quinn has graduated from the stage where he's happy to just sit in your lap and be played with (allowing for much time in which mummy can eat her lunch, watch TV, read books or just rest) and now prefers to be walked around the house during the times when he's not feeding, sleeping or playing with his toys. He will still last about 20 minutes just sitting up on your lap (and it's entirely possible to type emails around him, honest) but this baby likes to be on the move.

Quinn has started to figure out how to hit the toys hanging from his bouncy seat and playmat, but he'll only play with them for 5-10 minutes at a time before he gets upset. We've determined that the reasons for him becoming upset are generally due to him a) forgetting how to hit the toys, b) deciding that he wants to hit one that he can see but is entirely out of his reach and not understanding why he can't hit it, or c) focusing on something that is not attached to his mat or chair in any way (for example, a door handle on the cabinet next to him, or the ceiling light) and getting similarly frustrated that he can't reach it. If you move him to reach said object, he will get even more upset because he must do it himself. When he does get upset about his inability to reach said toy/doorhandle/ceiling light, he lets out the saddest little noises that aren't entirely cries, and honestly sound like he's arguing with his toys. And then it takes a while to calm him down again after he's argued with his toys. But still, it's worth it to see the concentration on his little face as he reaches up to hit one of them. Sometimes we just sit and watch him.

Aside from hitting his toys, Quinn also likes being tickled--unless he's upset, in which case he hates it. He doesn't laugh yet, but he smiles a lot, and I think he tries to laugh as he makes some very amusing noises.

He's become a very smiley baby, and sometimes we discover that he's woken up from a nap and is just looking at the patterns on his moses basket and smiling at them. Better than that, he's started obviously smiling at us, as if he's happy to see us. Sometimes he still smiles at entirely random things (like a blank wall, or a lamp) but we're definitely getting deliberate smiles now, which is fun.

Other things Quinn likes? He likes to look at anything shiny or reflective, including a picture of a penguin that we have propped up on his changing table. We put it there temporarily, but it provides an excellent distraction when he's being changed. He doesn't mind his nappy being changed, but he hates having anything pulled over his head, or getting his arms in and out of tops.

Quinn likes being carried around in his carrier, although he often screams when he's being strapped into it. He's undecided about his pram--he'll spend some time looking around himself quite merrily, then go to sleep, and as long as he stays asleep, he's happy. On several occasions, however, he has woken up and decided he no longer wants to be in the pram (a good twenty minute walk from home) and he'll just scream all the way home, no matter how quickly we walk. Sometimes his unhappiness isn't even because he's hungry--he just doesn't want to be lying down any longer.

Quinn loves bath time, perhaps because we have a Tummy Tub that allows him to sit up and look at things. After all, that is one of his favourite activities! He hates being taken out of the bath, naturally.

Quinn does not like being undressed, but if you catch him in a good mood, he won't make too much fuss. If you wake him up in a strange location and take all of his clothes off and lay him on a set of scales or press a stethoscope on to his chest, he'll probably scream and pee everywhere. So far, Quinn has peed on every item of clothing possible, several changing mats, two sets of scales, a muslin, two walls, a couple of towels, the living room carpet, and a medical student. And us, of course, but that's a given. He's quite prolific at this hobby.

We've recently discovered that music seems to calm Quinn, to the extent that we played some Apocalyptica to him the other day and he stopped crying for a full four minutes. (I tried this in the pram the other day and it did not work, so it's a bit hit and miss). Mostly we just sing nonsense songs to him.

I'd like to say that Quinn has a routine now, but every time I verbalise that thought, he changes his routine. For the most part, Quinn goes to sleep in his basket sometime between 9-11pm each night after I've fed him. Typically he wakes up once, around 5am, and comes into our bed to feed, before falling asleep again. He then usually feeds around the time Simon leaves for work, about 8am, but he doesn't always go back to sleep again. He normally has a morning nap of about 30 minutes sometime between 10 and 12 which allows me to shower, get dressed and do a couple of chores. He's usually pretty alert until the afternoon, where he often goes down for a longer nap, lasting between 1-2 hours, any time between 1 and 5pm. Unless he's skipped his afternoon nap, he'll normally be awake all evening until bedtime.

Given that I've used the words typically, normally and usually a lot in that paragraph, Quinn isn't exactly predictable. He's had days where he's refused to nap for more than 15 minutes, or days when he's stayed awake for seven hours straight. If I take him out in the pram or the carrier, he'll often stay asleep the entire time he's in that, resulting in a nap at a really odd time of day. On days like today, his afternoon nap has only lasted 30 minutes.

A woman from our antenatal class told me that her baby feeds every three hours, on the dot. It made me realise that I really don't know how often Quinn feeds. Maybe every two hours? Sometimes it feels like it's more frequent than that, maybe because I don't get much done between feeds. He typically feeds less at night (unless he's gone to bed early, or not fed much that evening, or he's just being fussy), and I guess he feeds for 30 minutes at a time? He's growing, so I figure whatever he's doing, it's working for him.

Quinn's First Two Weeks

Finally home approx. 36 hours after Quinn was born, and all very tired.

Daddy somehow found the energy to make dinner, and thus we entered the continuing saga of "How to eat left-handed while nursing a baby (because he will want fed as soon as dinner is ready)."

To begin with, he slept all the time, anywhere. You could cuddle him or take pictures and he'd stay asleep.

He hated getting dressed, or even having his nappy changed. It was honestly a shock the first time he didn't cry when we laid him on the changing mat.

We ended up co-sleeping a lot in the early weeks.

A LOT.

But he would nap in his bed during the day. Sometimes for a couple of hours!

But sometimes he just prefers to sleep on us.

Then he hit two weeks and suddenly became very alert. No longer would Quinn lie happily on your lap--he had to be sitting up and looking at everything!

[Note: I wrote this post when Quinn was 3.5 months old, but I thought it would be better to have all of Quinn's photos in chronological order, hence this blog post being stuck back in August.]

Quinn Elijah Brand

Quinn Elijah Brand was born at 1:37am on Monday the 4th of August, weighing 7lbs and 4oz. Here are just a few photographs from his first day with us.

And one last bump photo, taken at 40 weeks & 1 day. Contrary to what everyone said, my bump did not suddenly get huge in the last few weeks...in fact, it was still measuring 35cms when we went to the hospital to be induced. But in spite of all the worries about Quinn being too small or not developing properly, he has been perfectly healthy and happy.

Although he is extremely cute, Quinn doesn't allow his mummy much time on the computer, so further updates on our labour and Quinn's first few weeks may be a little delayed. But we promise we are taking plenty of photographs!

Balanced Challenge: Day 9: How to Find Inspiration

Chapter 9 of Balanced started out with a quote that definitely spoke right to my heart:

"Most of all we just need permission. Permission to slow down. Permission to discover our deepest purpose. And permission to follow God-breathed dreams even when we still have kids at home."

I think a lot of work-at-home parents must be struck with conflicting feelings over whether to follow their dreams (even just for fifteen minutes) rather than tending to household chores or devoting themselves wholeheartedly to their kids. Does it make me a terrible wife or mother if I choose to write for an hour rather than tackling the ironing pile? 

I imagine that this conflict will get stronger when we have a little one in the house. In fact, having seen how friends with babies and small children are getting on with their lives, it seems like life is more challenging with a child who is toddling around, attempting to walk, and climbing or reaching into awkward places every time your back is turned. At least a newborn sleeps a lot and can't go very far, right? ;) 

In the midst of housework and raising children, it can be hard to find inspiration. Tricia shares the ways in which she opens herself up to receiving inspiration on a daily basis on her blog today. It made me think about how ideas come to me, and I'm not sure if I'm quite so intentional about making myself ready to find inspiration. Maybe it's because I'm not battling several small children to get to my desk and write, but at the moment, I tend to have ideas come to me quite easily. 

In particular, over the last couple of months, I've often woken up with ideas in my head--not just snippets, but often rough storylines and distinct characters. I haven't had this happen quite so much recently, but it was a great encouragement to me in the days when I was battling morning sickness and barely felt up to washing the dishes, let alone sitting down to write. When I did feel up to being creative, but only had a few minutes at my disposal, I would type up these ideas that had come to me in the waking hours. I'm not sure where I'm going to go with these ideas (currently sitting in a OneNote notebook provisionally and horribly titled: The Princess and the Security Guard, Professing Love, Rockstar Roommate & The Other Boy Next Door) but they're there when I'm ready for them. Sometimes I do end coming back to ideas years after I first scribble them down. Just the other day I found my original, paper notes for the novel I'm currently editing. Although it's changed a lot since I first came up with the idea in 2009, the original setting and some of the characters are still the same.

Two nuggets of wisdom particularly stuck out to me from today's challenge. First: dedicate your writing to the the Lord each day in prayer. Second: Write something, every day. Even if it's a scribbled idea on a post-it or a single paragraph of your current work-in-progress, just write something.

This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!

Balanced Challenge: Day 8: 3 Ways to Make Today Amazing

Balanced talks a lot about putting joy into your day, or being joyful in everything you do, no matter how mundane. It might sound bizarre to be joyful while hanging up laundry or shopping for groceries, but it definitely beats dwelling over all the other things on my to-do list that are still waiting for my attention. Having a joyful heart can really out a positive spin on the outcome of every day, and I'm trying to remember to insert some joy into every day.

Today, Tricia suggests three ways in which we can add more joy into our lives: Be thankful, play, and give. Here are some ways in which I try to add these things into my life:

1. Be Thankful. I've tried keeping thankfulness journals and other written methods of recording my thankfulness and none of them have been entirely successful. Instead, Simon and I make an effort to pray over our evening meals and, out of habit, we always list two things we're thankful for (often things that are on our plates!) We also always start our evening prayers listing those things we're thankful for.
2. Play! While we might not have little ones to play with yet, we do enjoy playing games together. Simon has been amassing a rather large board game collection over the last few years, and we try to play a game together at least once a week--sometimes a quick, smaller game like Carcassonne or Lost Cities, or a longer game that takes all evening, like Ora et Labora or Tales of the Arabian Nights. We've also played video games together, including LA Noire on the computer (not technically a two-player game, but we work through it together) and Little Big Planet and NHL14 on the PS3 (much to my surprise, I'm actually pretty good at virtual hockey. Racing games are an entirely different story, sadly). We have fun researching games and figuring out which ones we'll enjoy playing together.
3. Give. We periodically donate clothes, books, films, CDs, ornaments and miscellaneous items that we're no longer using to charity--or to people we think will benefit from them. Since my brother is about the same height as Simon (but skinnier), he often gets Simon's old clothes, and we've made up bags of duplicate kitchen items for both of our brothers over the years (Simon's brother is just finishing university and mine is just about to start). A few months ago we found a collection of unused folders that had previously stored my work from high school and the first two years of university, and we managed to find students in our current church who could use them. Not only does it feel great to make space for the things we need (particularly with a baby coming soon!) but it's encouraging to know that items that are sitting unused in our house will be appreciated in their new homes.

Not only are these items beneficial to me, but having an attitude of thankfulness, playfulness and generosity will hopefully set a great example to my kids someday. 

This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!

Balanced Challenge: Day 7: Chores for All the Family

I've read a lot of Amish fiction over the last few years, and while there are some things about their lifestyle that I don't agree with, I definitely admire the way that the whole family works together, including young children. I remember tidying my room when I was young, and washing dishes and ironing when I was in my preteen years, but other than that I don't think I was particularly involved in household chores. By the time I left home at eighteen, I knew how to cook some basic meals and operate a washing machine, but I don't think I'd ever scrubbed a toilet, mopped a floor or cleaned an oven. I had a lot of learning to do in my first year of university. Based on my experiences, I'd like to involve my children in household chores from a young age so that they can gradually build up their ability to manage housework.

Since my own child won't be born until August, I don't have any advice to give on age-appropriate chores, but Tricia lists some great examples on her blog. Even three-year-olds can be involved in something as simple as putting laundry into a washing basket or carrying dishes to the sink. They might not be terribly efficient or tidy to begin with, and this is something I'll have to learn to let go of. Sometimes I ask my husband to help hand up laundry, and I find myself readjusting half the clothes because they're not hanging in a manner which is going to help them dry quickly, but I know he tried and that the clothes will dry--eventually. More importantly, he took a burden off my shoulders by helping! It's the same for children--they won't learn how to do something if we take the task away from them and do it for them because they're not doing it perfectly the first time. Tricia talks a lot about letting go of unrealistic expectations in today's chapter, and I particularly appreciated her comments about how having a desire for perfectionism at all times not only sets us up for failure, but it can also damage our spouses and our children if they don't feel like they measure up. 

Another reason I'd like to involve our children in housework from a young age is so that it becomes part of the natural rhythm of family life. Instead of seeing their assigned activities as "chores" that they have to do in order to be allowed to play outside or watch TV, I hope that in participating in such activities from a young age, our children will see that helping around the home is part of being a family, and something we do to help each other. They might not necessarily look forward to washing the dishes or sorting socks, but hopefully it won't be something they dread either! 

This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!

Balanced Challenge: Day 3: How My Family Benefits From My Work

I wrote up my notes from yesterday's chapter last night, but I didn't get the chance to format them into a blog post until today. I guess that's all part of being flexible, right? ;)

When I read the title of Day 3's challenge, I did wonder if I'd be able to come up with something to write. Tricia's blog was entitled How My Little Kids Help Me In My Work, and since my little kid is still in utero, I don't exactly have any examples of how I'm able to do that just yet. I definitely have some ideas of ways in which my kids could be involved in my work, but since I don't have a whole lot of experience in this area, I decided to change today's blog post very slightly. Instead of answering the question of How do you involve your kids in your work?, I'll be talking about how I anticipate my family benefiting from my work at home.

Deciding to work from home definitely wasn't a spontaneous decision, but it was an easy one to make once Simon and I realised that we could afford it. We'd always talked about me being at home once we had children, and not just because it would cut down on childcare costs. My kids might not have my complete and undivided attention when I'm at home if I'm writing or doing housework while they play (and it's probably a good thing that they know they're not the centre of my universe) but I like knowing that I am there if they have a problem or something they want to talk about, and that I can witness their growths and achievements first hand, whether they're taking their first steps or learning to play an instrument. In fact, I kind of feel sad that Simon will be out at work for nine hours a day and might miss out on an exciting development with one of our children!

Besides the obvious fact that I'd be instilling a love of reading and writing in them from a young age, I hadn't really put too much thought into how my chosen career could impact my children until now. Since Tricia is also a writer, she made some great points in the third chapter of Balanced, many of which I could relate to. Here are some points I finally decided upon:

• Through seeing me work on my novels, edit them, submit them to publishers, revise them, and hopefully eventually get them published, my children will see first-hand that it's possible to achieve your dreams--but that you have to work hard to get there. 
• I might not have any immediate plans to interview people as research for my novels as Tricia often does, but my kids will still get to connect with other writers and artists, as well as fellow book-lovers from my work at The Christian Manifesto. My colleague Shondra sent me a lovely card all the way from Indiana, when I told her I was pregnant, and she's taken on some of my usual tasks for TCM to help ease my work load. Even if my kids don't get to meet mummy's "internet friends" in person, they'll definitely know that they have love and support from all over the world!
• In turn, they'll also learn about how hobbies and interests can connect a community of people of all ages and races, all over the world. I might not have any local friends who write Christian Fiction, but I've met plenty online--and this will also open up conversations about internet safety!
• Reading and writing can help us develop compassion and empathy, so not only do I hope that my work makes me more patient and understanding with my children, they'll get to learn equally important lessons through their own reading. Hopefully this will open up some great discussions topics, as well.
• Since my husband has a more typical 9-5 job with an annual salary, while I'm going down the artistic route of following my dreams even if it doesn't make any money right now, we can demonstrate to our kids that following your dreams can look different depending on your skills and interests, and that each of our routes are equally valid options. We can show them that doing something you love is more important than making a lot of money, gaining fame or meeting other people's expectations. 
• And in turn, we can show them that it takes a lot of effort and sacrifice to get to the place of fulfilling your dreams--getting a book published doesn't happen overnight, and because of the career path I've taken, we don't have a second income right now. 
• Hopefully, as my career develops, my kids will have opportunities to go on research trips with me, or at least visit museums and libraries and develop a love and respect for history. 
• We can show our children that mummy and daddy contribute to the family in different but equal ways.

Towards the end of Chapter 3, Tricia writes, "When you spend a lot of time together, kids follow what they see. They also ask questions. A lot of questions." I hope that, through seeing me work and asking me why I'm writing all the time, my kids can learn some valuable life lessons which will eventually enable them to make decisions about their own futures and careers. 

This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!

Balanced Challenge Day 1: Looking Ahead to Tomorrow To Set Goals for Today

I have a confession to make. Although I read a lot of books (29 so far this year) in a variety of formats (paperback, hardback, ebook, audiobook, etc), I'm pretty terrible at actually finishing a non-fiction book. I have at least three non-fiction books on my Currently Reading shelf on my Kindle that I've reached 25% on and then unintentionally abandoned when I got distracted by a novel. I think this may be a side-effect of studying at university for the last four years--I simply cannot read a non-fiction book without taking stopping to take notes, which makes my reading experience last a lot longer than it normally would, were I reading fiction. 

Unless I change my non-fiction reading habits dramatically, I know I'm going to struggle even more when there's a baby in the house. Even so, I've aimed to read at least ten non-fiction books in 2014, and I've already managed to knock four books off that challenge. Balanced: Finding Center as a Work-at-Home Mom by Tricia Goyer will hopefully be book #5 in that list.

When Simon and I learned that I was pregnant in November, I will admit that I began to worry about how I was going to balance all my responsibilities--housework, writing, reviewing, editing, and now a baby. To make matters worse, I pretty much abandoned my writing altogether when my morning sickness kicked it up a notch in early December. We had only told a few people we were pregnant at this point, so whenever anyone asked me how my writing was doing, I lied and told them I was in the editing stages of my current novel. Editing is boring, so no one tends to ask much about it, but I felt guilty--should I really be managing to write and edit novels right now? Or is getting the dishes washed without puking enough of an achievement? 

One of the non-fiction books that I've been dipping in and out of for the last few months is Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream, a 40-day devotional by Holley Gerth (see what I mean about procrastinating on non-fiction? This book should have been finished way back in 2013 if it only takes 40 days to read!) One of the devotions that I read in early January was about not having to pursue every opportunity that comes your way and not feeling guilty about saying "No" to certain things. The phrase "You don't have to do it all" popped out at me (one which also appears in the first chapter of Balanced!), and I decided that "Balance" should be my word for 2014. Shortly after reading this devotion, I saw Tricia's new book being advertised, and I had a feeling that now would be the right time to read it. I might not be a mum yet, but it's never too early to start thinking about how I'm going to balance all of my responsibilities.

Since I'm horrible at sticking with a non-fiction book, Tricia's 11-day challenge seemed like the perfect motivation to get me to read this book in a reasonable time-frame.

About the book:
Since Tricia is a stay-at-home mother and writer, I can relate to her journey a lot. (In fact, today I learned that she began her full-time writing career at twenty-two, just like me!) However, a lot of the skills required to balance housework, childcare and writing can be applied to other work-at-home careers. This isn't exclusively a book for writers, but it is a faith-based book, so non-Christians may struggle to relate to some of Tricia's experiences or advice. 

Today's Challenge

In the first chapter of Balanced, Tricia talks about how deciding what we want to achieve as a family can help us to determine what steps to take, and avoid feeling overwhelmed or stressed out by unnecessary responsibilities. By determining principles, values or activities that particularly matter to our family, we can make better decisions by pin-pointing whether a certain opportunity would benefit our family, or stop us from being able to focus on what really matters.

Since we don't have children yet (still 4.5 months to go!), it's difficult to decide exactly what's going to matter to us the most when we have children, but there are some things that Simon and I have long felt are important to us. These might not be things that are important to your family, as every individual and family has different values they put specific emphasis on. 

What do we want to achieve as a family? What will matter five years from now--ten years from now? What will mold our children into God-serving adults? What will bring peace--not stress--to our home?

• Although we don't yet know how we're going to educate our children, we want to be involved in their education. We want to encourage them in the skills and activities that they enjoy, to make learning fun for them, and take advantage of our own skills to help them learn. 
• While we want to encourage our children in their natural talents, we don't want to force them to devote extra time to activities they don't enjoy, even if it is something they're good at. Sometimes it's better to focus on something we really enjoy, even if it's harder for us to grasp.
• We want to make sure our children have time to play, spend time with their family and friends, and generally enjoy being a kid, even if this means only taking one extracurricular activity at a time. We don't want to be a taxi service to our children's activities--and not having a car will probably help us achieve this!
• We want to have breakfast and dinner together as a family every day (excluding special occasions or date night), and encourage conversation and prayer at these meals.
• We want to encourage our children to try new foods, and even revisit ones they've previously thought they didn't like. We want them to be involved in cooking from a young age, to develop adventurous tastes, not be scared to try new foods, and learn that our tastes can change (especially since mum didn't used to like onions at all!)
• We want to involve our children in household tasks early on, providing that they are suitable for that age (no ironing for the three-year-old), and to make them see that this is part of being and serving your family, not a "chore".
• We want to be an active part of our church, although how we are active might change over the years. (Right now Simon and I both help to lead the children's church, and Simon plays guitar in the band while I serve on the hospitality team).
• We want to encourage a love of reading, as well as other methods of storytelling and art forms. We want to read together as a family each night, even when our children are babies. 
• And most importantly: We want to be open to change and unexpected opportunities, and to not be too set in our plans for the future.A year ago, Simon was planning to study for his PhD while I worked as a teacher or a librarian, and we didn't think we'd be starting our family until we were at least 25. Now Simon is working full-time as a software engineer, we're expecting our first child just a month before my 23rd birthday, and I've been able to focus on my writing for the first year post-graduation. Sometimes life takes you on an entirely different route from the one you anticipated! 

Since our post-graduation future ended up being so incredibly different from the one we imagined (but also so much better!) it's hard for me to answer questions like, "Where do we want to be ten years from now?" I try not to set too many concrete plans for the future, but I do know that ten years from now we'll both be around 33. We'd like to have two or three children by this time, and have bought a house. For me, I'd like to have published my first novel. I'm not sure if we'll still be living in Edinburgh, or if Simon will have embraced a different job opportunity that takes us away from this city. For now, we're happy here, but we're not scared of change.

The thing that struck me most about the first chapter of Balanced is that the values that matter to you should influence the direction your family takes; not what values others promote. Sometimes we find ourselves contemplating X or Y because someone in our family or church or workplace is doing X or Y. Will it make us a worse wife/mother/writer if we aren't doing that too? I know that I've missed some online writing pitches or competitions because the timing wasn't write--we were moving house, I had another project to work on, or I was simply too busy puking. But I've also taken advantage of other ones where the timing was better, and those worked out well for me. 

I can't take part in every opportunity that comes my way, and the same goes for our family. Because our family is our top priority, this affects certain activities we take part in or choices we make. Sometimes we say "No" to an invitation to a party, because Simon and I want to have a date night together. Sometimes we say "No" to serving in a certain ministry at church because we already serve in other ways that are more relevant to our giftings. Simon has turned down job interviews for companies that might have a more popular name or better pay because his current job is flexible for someone with a young family, has a reasonable commute, and won't require us to move. While we could afford to buy a house right now, packing, moving and decorating would be too stressful with a baby on the way in a few short months. 

We might have friends who are changing jobs, buying houses, attending writing conferences, starting new ministries, etc, and we wholeheartedly support them--while also being aware that we don't have to do all those things too. As Tricia says in Balanced, "Too often we compare our weaknesses with other people's strengths, only to find ourselves coming up short." A friend might be buying a house or a car, but they're not expecting a baby, or paying off their student loans. X works for them, while Y suits us right now. 

Of course, there is no perfect balance. Today I've managed to tackle a lot of housework and editing responsibilities, but there have been days when I've been too sick to do more than wash the breakfast dishes and order groceries to be delivered. I'm learning more and more (thanks to my pregnancy) that flexibility is sometimes key to finding some sort of peace in my current situation. Balance doesn't necessarily mean making a colour-coded schedule for the day and following it to the letter to ensure that I've spent equal amounts of time on my writing, housework, editing and family. For me, balance means trusting that I'm doing what's right for me and my family at the moment. 

This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!

We're Pregnant!

In case you didn't already hear the news, we're expecting our first baby around the end of July! We were too early at our first scan (just eleven weeks) so we're having another one this week so we can figure out our official due date. Not that the baby is going to be born on that day, but it still gives us something to count down to!

For now, we'll answer all of your nosy questions. Some we've already asked, some we'll sure will come up soon. Simon's answers (given while playing the NHL14 game on the PlayStation) are in red.

1. Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?
Rachel: Nope. We will hopefully be able to find out at our 20-week scan, but we've not decided if we want to tell everyone, or keep it a secret. We're not a big fan of gender-specific clothes/toys, plus, everyone is having so much fun telling us what sex they think it is (something that we don't entirely understand, but hey ho) that we don't really want to spoil that fun ;)
Simon: No. But we'll find out. And then not tell anyone.

2. Do you want a boy or a girl?
Rachel: We don't really mind. Maybe when it comes to our second child we'll decide we'd like to have a baby of the opposite gender, but at this stage we're just excited that we're having a baby!
Simon: Yes.

3. Where will you have the baby?
Rachel: We haven't decided yet, but providing that we remain low-risk for the rest of our pregnancy, it'll either be the birthing centre at the Royal Infirmary in Edinburgh, or a home birth. If we end up being high-risk, we can choose between the Royal and St. John's in Livingston--we'd probably go with the latter simply because I know a lot of women who have given birth there, and my mum has worked there for 25 years and knows a lot of the nurses, so I'd feel more comfortable in that environment. Really, that's what it comes down to--wherever we think we'll be the most relaxed and comfortable. We have plenty of time to decide!
Simon: In a place. Preferably with food.

4. Have you decided on any names?
Rachel: We only have one boy's name we both really like, so that may end up sticking. For girls, we have a handful we both like. Once we know if the baby is a boy or a girl we'd like to decide on a name so we stop calling it "the baby". We're probably not going to tell anyone the name before the baby is born as people love to give opinions, or tell horrible stories like, "Oh, you like Timothy? My great uncle was called Timothy and he was a White Supremacist who was put in prison for arson and murder" which will ruin the name.
Simon: Yes.

5. Are you going to move house?
Rachel: We specifically picked a property that had enough space for at least one child, or not more, because we've both moved house a ridiculous number of times in the last four years and would like to stay put until we've saved enough to actually buy a house of our own. Our second bedroom is currently a study and dining-room, but the rooms can be rearranged to make a children's bedroom eventually. For the first six months, we're probably going to keep the baby in our bedroom to make night-time feedings easier.
Simon: No.

6. Are you planning to breastfeed?
Rachel: Yes. It's cheap, doesn't involve all the fuss of sterilising bottles (especially if we're out of the house) and we think it's the healthiest option for our baby. We plan to breastfeed for the first six months, and then we'll see what seems best after that point. Since I'm at home 24/7 anyway, we don't need to worry about expressing milk or switching to formula when I go back to work, so we're pretty flexible.
Simon: Yes, yes, I am.

7. Any opinions on nappies?
Rachel: About a year ago, I loved the idea of cloth nappies. Now that we're six months away from actually having a baby, and already absolutely shattered, we're not sure if it's something we want to do straight away. One of my main reasons for liking the idea of cloth nappies was how cheap everyone claimed it was, but disposable nappies actually seem pretty cheap right now. Maybe we'll try cloth nappies when the baby is older, but for now we're going with disposable ones as it seems like the least stressful and time-consuming option for new parents.
Simon: They're probably useful. 

8. Are you going to buy a car?
Rachel: Since neither of us can drive and we'll be paying for zillions of nappies, it doesn't seem like the most sensible option right now. We accidentally rented a house that is on the most frequent bus service in Edinburgh and we live within three miles of the largest Tesco on the planet, a branch of our bank, two primary schools, two pharmacies, our doctor's practice, two parks, a library with an excellent children's programme, and at least five bakeries (no, I'm not kidding, and most of them are on the same street), so right now we're really happy with being car-less. It means that I automatically tick the "is participating in regular cardio-vascular exercise" box with my midwife, and will hopefully inspire me to get out the house and run some small errands once the baby is here. If we end up buying a house that's not close to as many shops or not on a decent bus route, we'll look into learning to drive and getting a car, but right now saving up for the baby and a mortgage deposit are our priorities. (Also, an off-shoot of this question: if we decide to have the baby at the birthing centre or hospital, we'll take a taxi. Another benefit to living in a city!)
Simon: Ha. 

9. Is Simon going to be at the birth?
Rachel: Definitely. He's going to go to birthing classes and all that stuff too. No pacing outside in the waiting room for him--especially if we decide to go for a home birth.
Simon: Yes.

10. Are you going to have an epidural or a natural birth?
Rachel: Shockingly, there are some options in between those two, like gas and air or TENS or water birth. We've decided that we don't want an epidural (it tends to lengthen the birth, and limit the positions you labour in, and there's a higher chance of needing forceps, etc) but we're not fixed on anything in particular right now.
Simon: I might have an epidural. Rachel won't.

11. Are you going to decorate the baby's room?
Rachel: The baby isn't going to have its own room to begin with, and after that we won't be able to decorate because we don't own this house. We'll probably put some pictures up.
Simon: The baby has its own room?

12. How have you been feeling?
Rachel: Pick up a copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting. Looking at all the symptoms listed for the first three months. Aside from heartburn, I've had every one. And wonderfully, I progressed from all-day nausea to random vomiting at around 8 weeks. I sway between feeling fine aside from some back ache and morning nausea to throwing up and not wanting to get out of bed. I'm hoping this eases off after 14 weeks, but we'll see how it goes.
Simon: Fine, thanks. How're you?

13. Would you like some of this baby stuff that's in our attic?
Rachel: We're not sure what we need right now, as several family members have offered to buy things for us, and there are a couple of things we'd like to buy new, simply because we're planning to have at least two children and will definitely get a lot of use out of them. We're definitely not going to turn down any clothes or small toys! We have a ridiculously small amount of storage space in our house, so please don't be offended if we turn something down that we won't use until the baby is older--we probably just don't have space for it right now.
Simon: Maybe. Ask Rachel.

14. Bassinet, Moses basket, crib, co-sleeping?
Rachel: We're going to use a Moses basket on a stand when the baby is small, then probably a cot. We're not against the baby being in our bed if it's being really fussy and it's the only way we get some sleep.
Simon: It's going to sleep in a basket.

15. Are you going to wear your baby or use a pram?
Rachel: Both. Baby-wearing seems useful for grocery shopping and travelling to certain places where taking the pram would be awkward, but we're definitely planning to get a pram--preferably one that can convert for various age stages.
Simon: Both.

16. How are you going to keep up with your writing when the baby comes?
Rachel: I don't have a fixed plan in place, since we don't know exactly how our lives will change once the little one gets here. Working from home will definitely be easier (and cheaper) than going back to work and having to arrange childcare for a little baby, but I don't mind putting my writing aside for a season if it's what's necessary. My books will still be there when I come back to them, but the baby will grow up fast!
Simon: Rachel will do something. (Rachel: This sounds like he doesn't care, but really he just doesn't have an opinion on something that's largely my decision).

17. How are you going to educate your child?
Rachel: Since this baby hasn't even passed the end of the first trimester, this isn't something we've decided on just yet. We're still not sure where to give birth to the baby yet, so education is a little while off ;) We're not ruling anything out--public, private, homeschooling, etc. It really depends on what suits our child best.
Simon: Belt. (Rachel: Actually, one thing we both agreed on early on is that we don't want to use physical discipline on our children).

18. Are you going to have a baby shower?
Rachel. Yes! One of my friends has offered to plan this, and I'm sure it'll be a lot of fun. I like the practical idea that Americans have of giving you baby paraphernalia before the baby gets here. Then we know what we actually need to buy ;) On that note, if you'd prefer to cook us some meals to stick in the freezer for the post-birth days, or get us something super practical like nappies, we're all for that. We'll be needing more than just cute outfits!
Simon: Yeah, it'll probably get dirty.

19. Would you like to hear this horrific story about my sister's ex-boyfriend's cousin's traumatic birth experience?
Rachel: Seriously, we heard enough horror stories before we even got pregnant. I think we might actually be immune to them by now. The same goes for any story involving projectile puke or poop. People love to tell those stories to childless women, I've discovered. It didn't put us off!
Simon: Only if I can fall asleep.

20. Are you excited?
Rachel: Yes! It felt a bit surreal to begin with (we didn't think we'd get pregnant so quickly) but we're definitely excited. Occasionally I get worried or stressed out about all the big decisions we need to make, but Simon is pretty good at keeping me calm, thankfully.
Simon: Mhm. (Simon: He is excited, really. But he also got a new video game today, and he's known about the baby for quite a while now. We can forgive his current lack of enthusiasm!)

We have exhausted all the possible questions we could come up with, but I'm sure you'll find some more! ;)