18 Weeks

How far along? 18 weeks & 5 days
Total weight gain/loss: Still 5lbs less than my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm convinced the baby must be eating up all my excess fat as I don't know how it can be getting so big without me gaining weight!
Maternity clothes? I'm still wearing some of my normal tops and skirts, but for jeans I'm entirely sticking to maternity trousers. Dresses are half and half. My winter coat is too tight and my spring jacket only does up partially, so I'm praying for warm weather so I don't have to invest in a maternity jacket.
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: Getting better. I had a lot of broken sleep at the start of the week because my bump felt really uncomfortable when I slept on either side, but the baby must have rearranged itself because I'm sleeping better now.
Best moment this week: This week hasn't been amazing as I came down with a virus, but I've been feeling the baby move more, and my bump is definitely getting bigger. Simon came home from work one day, looked at me and said in an amazed voice, "It's huge!" 
Movement: Not consistently, but I'm definitely feeling it at some point each day. It's most obvious when I'm in the bath, or sitting on the same position for long periods of time.
Cravings/Aversions: None this week, but I scrapped a plan to make a soup with chicken thighs that needed to be de-boned as I don't think I can deal with quite that much raw meet right now. Pre-chopped chicken is the way to go when you're feeling nauseas! 
Gender guesses: Simon is pretty much convinced it's a girl, and I was for a while, but occasionally I think it's a boy. We're pretty much settled on names now, so we're happy either way :)
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? Still in
What I miss: Wearing belts around my waist and being able to button shirts up fully. 
What I am looking forward to: Seeing the baby again in two weeks at our ultrasound!
Weekly Wisdom: People will tell you your hair gets more luscious and full when you're pregnant. If you have crazy long hair and live in a windy country, it might just get more knotted. Invest in a de-tangling conditioner!
Milestones: Nothing super major this week, but my coat getting too tight is kind of a big deal, I guess? Also, I can no longer leap back up into standing position whenever I crouch down to pick something off the floor. I feel like an old lady ;)

17 Weeks

I don't look amazing in this photograph, but it is significant because I used to always wear this top with a belt around my waist (far too uncomfortable now!) and it used to lie flat against my stomach. It might not be the most flattering shirt I own, but it stretches a lot ;)

Last week must have been rather busy, as we didn't manage to take a photograph! But week 17 is exciting for us as I'm definitely into maternity clothes, my physical morning sickness seems to have gone, and we're pretty sure we've both felt the baby move!

How far along? 17 weeks & 3 days
Total weight gain/loss: Still 5lbs less than my pre-pregnancy weight. I haven't gained anything for weeks now, but at least I'm not losing weight any more!
Maternity clothes? Yes! A friend and I went shopping on Tuesday and I picked up two pairs of jeans and two dresses from New Look's maternity range, which is super cute. Most of my tops and skirts still fit, but even my biggest jeans (deliberately bought one size bigger than my normal jeans) were digging in uncomfortably. Maternity jeans are so comfortable, and I particularly like having some support over my bump now that it's getting bigger.
Stretch marks? Nope, although I've been given tons of recommendations of creams to try if they do appear.
Sleep: It did get better last week, but now every position I lie in seems to be uncomfortable. I've started sleeping on my side with a pillow under my bump, which seems to make my sleep less broken than it was before, but still not perfect.
Best moment this week: We've had a lot of great moments this week! Finding cute maternity clothes, and discovering just how comfortable maternity jeans are :) Also, managing to go twelve days without being sick, which is my current record. And definitely feeling the baby move.
Movement: Yes! I've been feeling weird twinges for about a week and a half now, but it's becoming more obvious that it's the baby, not just my insides rearranging themselves. Sometimes the movements are really faint, but other times Simon can feel them as well. We've discovered that the baby moves around a lot when I'm in the bath, which feels quite weird. We're not sure where it gets its love of swimming from because neither of us are strong swimmers ;)
Cravings/Aversions: No cravings this week, but I'm avoiding any breakfast food with raisins in it at the moment, just because I've thrown up too many bagels, hot cross buns and slices of fruit loaf to face eating anything in like that in the mornings.
Gender guesses: We've both been thinking that it's a girl for a couple of weeks now, although I did have a dream about a boy baby the other night.
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? Still in, but not as much as it was a few weeks ago.
What I miss: Uninterrupted sleep and being able to lie comfortably.
What I am looking forward to: We get to see our baby again at 20 weeks, and hear its heartbeat for the first time, so definitely that! 
Weekly Wisdom: I'm afraid I'm all out of wisdom this week ;)
Milestones: I've started wearing maternity clothes, we're hopefully (fingers crossed!) past the physical morning sickness stage, and we felt the baby move! An exciting week for us, for sure.

15 Weeks

As you can see, my bump looks different depending on how I'm standing. But it's definitely there now!

How far along? 15 weeks and 5 days
Total weight gain/loss: Still the same as last week. I haven't lost any weight, but I haven't gained any either, so I'm still about 5lbs less than my pre-pregnancy weight. I was sure I would have gained some since my bump got a lot bigger this week, but apparently not.
Maternity clothes? Nearly there! Most of my skirts still fit (sitting on my waist rather than my hips) but nearly all of my jeans need an elastic band to keep them shut. I was hoping to try on some maternity clothes this weekend when we went shopping in Livingston, but we couldn't find a single store with a maternity range. 
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: It was good earlier in the week, but I've had broken sleep for the last four days in a row. Initially it was because Simon kept stealing the duvet and I'd wake up because I was cold, but last night I think the baby must have been having a little disco as I kept waking up for no apparent reason. 
Best moment this week: My bump suddenly got really obvious on Tuesday, which was really exciting! We took a picture at the weekend because I seemed to have a little bit of a bump, but it seemed to double in size on Tuesday. I definitely look pregnant now, whereas previously I might have just looked a little bloated.
Movement: I don't think I've felt anything, but I am wondering if the baby was moving around a lot last night and waking me up. 
Cravings/Aversions: No cravings this week, but I can't stand the smell of burnt toast (I keep asking Simon to clean out the toaster) or eggs. Making Simon's lunch in the kitchen right after we've used the toaster is a challenge. We also made pulled pork in the slow cooker overnight, which was delicious, but I've discovered that the smell of pork first thing in the morning does not sit well with my nausea. 
Gender guesses: Up until this week I've switched my guesses every day, but I've been thinking it's a girl for several days now. Simon doesn't have any guesses right now.
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? Definitely still in.
What I miss: Uninterrupted sleep!
What I am looking forward to: Completely getting past the morning sickness/nausea stage, which is still lingering on well into the fifteenth week. It's better, but I'd love for it to go away completely. And buying maternity clothes, since Livingston's shops were sadly lacking.
Weekly Wisdom: Put all the clothes that no longer fit into storage so that you don't look at them longingly every time you open your wardrobe. 
Milestones: We have a very obvious bump now! Plus, my energy levels are much better (we stayed out until 10pm on Wednesday) and my nausea is mostly improved. 

14 Weeks

I wish I could have one of those cool mommy blogs where I write about all the outfits I've been sewing for our baby and show you all the all-natural, organic goodies I've been baking. But given how sick I've been the last month or so, that isn't going to happen. I even broke down last week in Tesco and bought muffins because I didn't feel up to baking anything, which is really unusual for me. But since I've seen this on other people's blogs and it seemed cute, here are some facts about our pregnancy so far:

How far along? 14 weeks and 4 days
Total weight gain/loss: My weight has been fluctuating a lot due to morning sickness, and I got a bit worried last week as I seemed to have lost half a stone (I've no idea where, as I'm growing out of all my clothes!), but I've put a little bit back on. Right now I'm about 4lbs less than I was at week 9 when I saw my midwife.
Maternity clothes? I'm definitely getting close! I've been wearing dresses all week as I don't feel comfortable with anything tight over my bump, and even those are feeling too tight. We're going shopping on Saturday and I think I'll definitely be in need of new clothes by then, even if they're just larger dresses.
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: Getting better. I'm not waking up as much during the night (unless the neighbour's dog is really acting up) but Simon has been stealing the duvet a lot recently, which hasn't helped! I'm having really bizarre dreams several times a week, which has been going on for a while.
Best moment this week: Getting out of the first trimester! Our due date was wrongly calculate twice, so towards the end we felt like we'd been struck in the first trimester forever. Given our new due date, I think we realised we were pregnant at 3 weeks, which is crazy early, so no wonder the first third of our pregnancy felt like it was going on for ages.
Movement: Not yet
Cravings: I was craving fish and chips for a couple of weeks, but I think that may be linked to the fish and chip shop less than a minute's walk from our house! We satisfied that craving last week, and I don't think I've been craving anything else since then.
Gender guesses: I switch between genders every day, it seems. Right now I'm thinking it's a girl. I keep asking Simon what he thinks the baby is, and most of the time he doesn't have an opinion--although on Sunday he said he thought it was a boy.
Labor Signs: Fortunately not!
Belly Button in or out? Definitely still in.
What I miss: We've been watching Twin Peaks and one of the characters was raving about a brie sandwich in a recent episode. Although I can eat brie when it's cooked, it did make me wish I could just eat fresh brie. Also, I bought a ridiculously impractical top in a charity shop back in early November, which Simon and I have dubbed my "busty gothic pirate top". It was incredibly tight when I bought it, and I kept meaning to wear it one more time before I got too big, but I never got around to it. Looking at my stomach, there's no way I can squeeze into it now. Oh, and belts! I used to wear a lot of belts around my waist, and even if I stretch them out, it still feels really uncomfortable.
What I am looking forward to: Shopping on Saturday! My mum is taking us to various baby shops (Mothercare, Babies R Us and an independent shop near their home) and I'm probably going to have a peek in the maternity sections of some clothes shops as well. We're mainly looking at Moses baskets right now, as my parents are buying us one as a gift. Simon hasn't been into any baby shops yet, so it'll be lots of fun!
Weekly Wisdom: It is totally acceptable to throw some cute baby bibs into your trolley when you're grocery shopping in Tesco, especially when they're 5 for £3 ;)
Milestones: We're into the second trimester, and I had my second appointment with my midwife this week! Honestly, it wasn't terribly exciting, but I'm glad it was a quick, easy appointment as that means everything's going fine. All of our test results came back as expected--there's nothing wrong with me or the baby (not even anything tiny like an iron deficiency!), and apparently I'm immune to Rubella, so I suppose that was worth seven vials of blood to find out?! My stomach is measuring perfectly for our expected due date, so it seems we finally got it right!

We're Pregnant!

In case you didn't already hear the news, we're expecting our first baby around the end of July! We were too early at our first scan (just eleven weeks) so we're having another one this week so we can figure out our official due date. Not that the baby is going to be born on that day, but it still gives us something to count down to!

For now, we'll answer all of your nosy questions. Some we've already asked, some we'll sure will come up soon. Simon's answers (given while playing the NHL14 game on the PlayStation) are in red.

1. Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?
Rachel: Nope. We will hopefully be able to find out at our 20-week scan, but we've not decided if we want to tell everyone, or keep it a secret. We're not a big fan of gender-specific clothes/toys, plus, everyone is having so much fun telling us what sex they think it is (something that we don't entirely understand, but hey ho) that we don't really want to spoil that fun ;)
Simon: No. But we'll find out. And then not tell anyone.

2. Do you want a boy or a girl?
Rachel: We don't really mind. Maybe when it comes to our second child we'll decide we'd like to have a baby of the opposite gender, but at this stage we're just excited that we're having a baby!
Simon: Yes.

3. Where will you have the baby?
Rachel: We haven't decided yet, but providing that we remain low-risk for the rest of our pregnancy, it'll either be the birthing centre at the Royal Infirmary in Edinburgh, or a home birth. If we end up being high-risk, we can choose between the Royal and St. John's in Livingston--we'd probably go with the latter simply because I know a lot of women who have given birth there, and my mum has worked there for 25 years and knows a lot of the nurses, so I'd feel more comfortable in that environment. Really, that's what it comes down to--wherever we think we'll be the most relaxed and comfortable. We have plenty of time to decide!
Simon: In a place. Preferably with food.

4. Have you decided on any names?
Rachel: We only have one boy's name we both really like, so that may end up sticking. For girls, we have a handful we both like. Once we know if the baby is a boy or a girl we'd like to decide on a name so we stop calling it "the baby". We're probably not going to tell anyone the name before the baby is born as people love to give opinions, or tell horrible stories like, "Oh, you like Timothy? My great uncle was called Timothy and he was a White Supremacist who was put in prison for arson and murder" which will ruin the name.
Simon: Yes.

5. Are you going to move house?
Rachel: We specifically picked a property that had enough space for at least one child, or not more, because we've both moved house a ridiculous number of times in the last four years and would like to stay put until we've saved enough to actually buy a house of our own. Our second bedroom is currently a study and dining-room, but the rooms can be rearranged to make a children's bedroom eventually. For the first six months, we're probably going to keep the baby in our bedroom to make night-time feedings easier.
Simon: No.

6. Are you planning to breastfeed?
Rachel: Yes. It's cheap, doesn't involve all the fuss of sterilising bottles (especially if we're out of the house) and we think it's the healthiest option for our baby. We plan to breastfeed for the first six months, and then we'll see what seems best after that point. Since I'm at home 24/7 anyway, we don't need to worry about expressing milk or switching to formula when I go back to work, so we're pretty flexible.
Simon: Yes, yes, I am.

7. Any opinions on nappies?
Rachel: About a year ago, I loved the idea of cloth nappies. Now that we're six months away from actually having a baby, and already absolutely shattered, we're not sure if it's something we want to do straight away. One of my main reasons for liking the idea of cloth nappies was how cheap everyone claimed it was, but disposable nappies actually seem pretty cheap right now. Maybe we'll try cloth nappies when the baby is older, but for now we're going with disposable ones as it seems like the least stressful and time-consuming option for new parents.
Simon: They're probably useful. 

8. Are you going to buy a car?
Rachel: Since neither of us can drive and we'll be paying for zillions of nappies, it doesn't seem like the most sensible option right now. We accidentally rented a house that is on the most frequent bus service in Edinburgh and we live within three miles of the largest Tesco on the planet, a branch of our bank, two primary schools, two pharmacies, our doctor's practice, two parks, a library with an excellent children's programme, and at least five bakeries (no, I'm not kidding, and most of them are on the same street), so right now we're really happy with being car-less. It means that I automatically tick the "is participating in regular cardio-vascular exercise" box with my midwife, and will hopefully inspire me to get out the house and run some small errands once the baby is here. If we end up buying a house that's not close to as many shops or not on a decent bus route, we'll look into learning to drive and getting a car, but right now saving up for the baby and a mortgage deposit are our priorities. (Also, an off-shoot of this question: if we decide to have the baby at the birthing centre or hospital, we'll take a taxi. Another benefit to living in a city!)
Simon: Ha. 

9. Is Simon going to be at the birth?
Rachel: Definitely. He's going to go to birthing classes and all that stuff too. No pacing outside in the waiting room for him--especially if we decide to go for a home birth.
Simon: Yes.

10. Are you going to have an epidural or a natural birth?
Rachel: Shockingly, there are some options in between those two, like gas and air or TENS or water birth. We've decided that we don't want an epidural (it tends to lengthen the birth, and limit the positions you labour in, and there's a higher chance of needing forceps, etc) but we're not fixed on anything in particular right now.
Simon: I might have an epidural. Rachel won't.

11. Are you going to decorate the baby's room?
Rachel: The baby isn't going to have its own room to begin with, and after that we won't be able to decorate because we don't own this house. We'll probably put some pictures up.
Simon: The baby has its own room?

12. How have you been feeling?
Rachel: Pick up a copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting. Looking at all the symptoms listed for the first three months. Aside from heartburn, I've had every one. And wonderfully, I progressed from all-day nausea to random vomiting at around 8 weeks. I sway between feeling fine aside from some back ache and morning nausea to throwing up and not wanting to get out of bed. I'm hoping this eases off after 14 weeks, but we'll see how it goes.
Simon: Fine, thanks. How're you?

13. Would you like some of this baby stuff that's in our attic?
Rachel: We're not sure what we need right now, as several family members have offered to buy things for us, and there are a couple of things we'd like to buy new, simply because we're planning to have at least two children and will definitely get a lot of use out of them. We're definitely not going to turn down any clothes or small toys! We have a ridiculously small amount of storage space in our house, so please don't be offended if we turn something down that we won't use until the baby is older--we probably just don't have space for it right now.
Simon: Maybe. Ask Rachel.

14. Bassinet, Moses basket, crib, co-sleeping?
Rachel: We're going to use a Moses basket on a stand when the baby is small, then probably a cot. We're not against the baby being in our bed if it's being really fussy and it's the only way we get some sleep.
Simon: It's going to sleep in a basket.

15. Are you going to wear your baby or use a pram?
Rachel: Both. Baby-wearing seems useful for grocery shopping and travelling to certain places where taking the pram would be awkward, but we're definitely planning to get a pram--preferably one that can convert for various age stages.
Simon: Both.

16. How are you going to keep up with your writing when the baby comes?
Rachel: I don't have a fixed plan in place, since we don't know exactly how our lives will change once the little one gets here. Working from home will definitely be easier (and cheaper) than going back to work and having to arrange childcare for a little baby, but I don't mind putting my writing aside for a season if it's what's necessary. My books will still be there when I come back to them, but the baby will grow up fast!
Simon: Rachel will do something. (Rachel: This sounds like he doesn't care, but really he just doesn't have an opinion on something that's largely my decision).

17. How are you going to educate your child?
Rachel: Since this baby hasn't even passed the end of the first trimester, this isn't something we've decided on just yet. We're still not sure where to give birth to the baby yet, so education is a little while off ;) We're not ruling anything out--public, private, homeschooling, etc. It really depends on what suits our child best.
Simon: Belt. (Rachel: Actually, one thing we both agreed on early on is that we don't want to use physical discipline on our children).

18. Are you going to have a baby shower?
Rachel. Yes! One of my friends has offered to plan this, and I'm sure it'll be a lot of fun. I like the practical idea that Americans have of giving you baby paraphernalia before the baby gets here. Then we know what we actually need to buy ;) On that note, if you'd prefer to cook us some meals to stick in the freezer for the post-birth days, or get us something super practical like nappies, we're all for that. We'll be needing more than just cute outfits!
Simon: Yeah, it'll probably get dirty.

19. Would you like to hear this horrific story about my sister's ex-boyfriend's cousin's traumatic birth experience?
Rachel: Seriously, we heard enough horror stories before we even got pregnant. I think we might actually be immune to them by now. The same goes for any story involving projectile puke or poop. People love to tell those stories to childless women, I've discovered. It didn't put us off!
Simon: Only if I can fall asleep.

20. Are you excited?
Rachel: Yes! It felt a bit surreal to begin with (we didn't think we'd get pregnant so quickly) but we're definitely excited. Occasionally I get worried or stressed out about all the big decisions we need to make, but Simon is pretty good at keeping me calm, thankfully.
Simon: Mhm. (Simon: He is excited, really. But he also got a new video game today, and he's known about the baby for quite a while now. We can forgive his current lack of enthusiasm!)

We have exhausted all the possible questions we could come up with, but I'm sure you'll find some more! ;)

Making Money vs. Following Your Dreams

My husband has found himself in a unique position for a recent university graduate—he’s doing something he loves and actually getting paid for it. Not only that, but parts of his job directly relate to the subject he wrote about in his dissertation. How many of us can say that?

I guess, technically, I can. I wrote about the development of the Christian Fiction market, and now I’m writing Christian romances. The only difference is that I’m not getting paid for what I do. Yet.

I know that my situation differs greatly from that of many aspiring writers my age. I’m not having to work in a day job I barely tolerate, which has no relation to my field of knowledge, just so I can afford to go home every night and write novels that I desperately hope someone will publish. I’m not applying for unpaid publishing or journalism internships in the hope that it’ll give me an “in” with the industry I hope to write for. I’m not starting another degree in English because at least I’ll be able to work with books in some way or another. I’m genuinely sitting at home each day, bashing out more words on my computer keyboard.

I know that sitting at my desk and writing sounds terribly boring to some people. The idea of being trapped in your home all day, only taking breaks to visit the supermarket or post office, can be terrifying for extroverts or anyone who can’t focus on their home environment.

Credit here.

But, well, that’s what writers do. We sit at our computers and write. Maybe this doesn’t make sense to non-writers, but I am extremely excited that I get to write every single day. I don’t have to squeeze in a few minutes here and there in between my day job or coursework. I actually get to write.

This is not something I expected I would be able to do at the age of twenty-two. I always imagined fitting my writing around my day job, maybe eventually having the chance to devote myself to it full-time if I became a stay-at-home mom and was at home all day.

I didn’t imagine I would get married two months before my twenty-first birthday, and even when Simon and I did get married, I figured that I would work while he studied for a Masters or PhD. It wasn’t until our final year of university, when Simon decided he didn’t want to stay in academia any longer and began applying for jobs that I realised that I had an opportunity I never anticipated. If Simon got a job that could support both of us, I wouldn’t have to work. I could actually follow my dream.

I’m not saying that I married Simon because I knew his Computer Science degree would fund my writing career, or that he’s only in this job so that I can stay at home. We’re in an amazing situation where we’ve only been out of university for three months and we’re both pursuing our dreams—software engineering for Simon, and writing for myself.

We’re not rolling in money, but we’re also not pinching pennies as much as we were at university. I appreciate the little things that have changed, like buying brand-name bagels when they’re not on offer, or having people over for dinner twice in one week without having to seriously examine our budget. We’re paying taxes and making repayments on our student loans, and this excites me! We’re doing what we love, we’re financially stable and we only graduated in June.

I realise that this isn’t everyone’s idea of happiness. We’d rather save up to buy a house than blow our savings on a round-the-world trip, but there are plenty of people who would prefer the opposite scenario. That’s not wrong either—if that’s what you truly want to do. But please respect that our idea of happiness is Simon coming home to a house where all the chores are done, so that we can spend time together every evening.

Some people might prefer working long hours so that they can go on holiday together every few months, even if they have to spend every evening catching up on laundry. I appreciate that every night is date night, that we don’t have to schedule time to see each other. We spent the first year of our marriage writing dissertations and commuting from Anstruther to St Andrews to attend classes, so I love that we can spend every evening together, even if we’re just watching television or playing a board game. I know this won’t last when we have children, so we’re cherishing this time we have together.

We might never buy furniture from anywhere but Ikea and maybe there will always be a few Value products in my shopping trolley, but I don’t mind that if it means we get to do what we love, and be with the people we love.  

Why I Write Romance

Following these two posts on writing romance novels, I decided to share my own experience.

I’ve known since I was six years old that I wanted to be a published author, but in my teenage years I was incredibly vague about the kinds of books I wrote. In retrospect it’s so obvious that my first novel, written when I was fifteen, is a romance, but at the time I murmured comments about writing stories about “real people” with “real problems” and “real life situations”. I’m not sure if I was already aware of a stigma attached to romance novels, and if I was, I don’t know where I picked up on it as I’d never even glanced at the “Romance” rack in the library, always heading straight for the ambiguously named “General Fiction” section. In spite of this, every one of the novels or stories I wrote in my teen years contained a fairly large romantic element.

Although I’d read plenty of novels that contained love stories of some kind—everything from The Princess Diaries to Little Women—it took me a long time to admit that my preferred genre was romance. As my teenage years progressed and I became more aware that I was definitely both a reader and writer of romance novels, I tried even harder to hide this from people. I don’t remember any of my teachers or family making over comments against romance novels, but something must have filtered down to me as I remember making disparaging comments about friends who read “girly books” or claimed Jane Austen was their favourite author. I don’t think I’m ever going to be a die-hard Janeite, but I have developed a bit of a reputation for being an expert on “girly books”. And I’m slowly learning to embrace this identity.

My husband doesn’t read romance novels—besides the ones I write—and I can probably count on one hand the number of books we’ve both read and enjoyed. Off the top of my head, 1984, Eugene Onegin, The Monk and Heart of Darkness are the few books we share similar opinions on. Our taste in books is so different that nearly all of the books I wanted to donate to charity after finishing my degree were the ones he wanted me to keep so he could read. I won’t be getting rid of Gulliver’s Travels any time soon, apparently. Very rarely do we recommend each other a book to read, but he understands why I love the romance genre so much. Simon often asks me about the book I’m reading and we’ll share stories back and forth about why we’re loving or hating our current read.

We do enjoy the same TV shows, and this has allowed me to demonstrate how satisfying a successful romance or love story can be, without forcing him to read a couple of Harlequins. Whether it’s Castle and Beckett from Castle, or Stanley and Mimi in Jericho or Victor and Sierra in Dollhouse, we’re generally both cheering when the hero and heroine finally get together, or shouting at the screen when they miss their chance due to some silly misunderstanding. But that final, satisfying moment when they finally admit their feelings for each other is always worth the wait, and it makes the journey all the more enjoyable.

I’ve heard people say that romance novels are unrealistic because the relationships always work out, and there’s always a happy ending. That escaping into a world where love always prevails is dangerous, because that’s not how it truly is in real life. Honestly? I need escapism. Maybe not all the time, but there are days when I don’t want to read or watch something that won’t end happily. Happy endings don’t always exist in real life, but that’s why we need them in fiction—to give us hope. The constant reminder that love can prevail gives us the push we need to continue being optimistic in our daily lives, and to make it past the hard times.

It’s okay to need to read a book with a happy ending. During the winter months I generally don’t read anything but happy books, as my Seasonal Affective Disorder does not make it terribly easy to read novels where everyone loses their loved ones and the hero is killed on the last page. The month before I got married, I remember borrowing an audiobook from the library and eventually setting it aside because I was feeling discouraged that everyone in the book was in an unhappy marriage. I did eventually finish the book, but at the time I decided I’d be more positive in the stressful weeks before our wedding if I wasn’t listening to stories of miserable relationships.  

For me, reading romance novels is not a guilty pleasure. They help me stay positive during tough times, and they’ve made for some of the most satisfying books I’ve encountered over the past couple of years. If I can write the kind of love story that has the reader cheering (silently or out loud) when the hero and heroine finally get together and keeps a smile on their face after they’ve closed the book, I’ll be equally satisfied.