19 Weeks

How far along? 19 weeks & 6 days
Total weight gain/loss: I've finally gained weight! However...this puts me at exactly the same weight I was before I got pregnant, since I lost half a stone in the first trimester. But hey, it's better than not gaining anything at all. 
Maternity clothes? For trousers and some dresses, and I might want to start investing in some tops soon as most of mine are starting to look too short.
Stretch marks? None
Sleep: Better, but I'm needing a lot more of it. I start to feel drained about 6pm every day.
Best moment this week: I finally put on weight? It seems kind of lame, but I have been worried about that. I also had several days with absolutely no nausea, which is an absolute first for me--I've literally been feeling nauseas every day since the start of November.
Movement: The baby has been really active this week. Instead of just little flutterings here and there, I'm feeling it consistently for relatively long periods of time. Sometimes it's definitely doing a jig on my intestines or kicking my lower abdomen, which I am not a fan of. The movements used to only be noticeable in the evenings, but I've felt it several times during the day recently.
Cravings/Aversions: Nothing right now, since my nausea is mostly gone.
Gender guesses: We're getting so close to finding out that I'm not sure what I think any more! Simon's the same.
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? Still in
What I miss: Being able to bend over to pick things off the floor without hurting my back.
What I am looking forward to: Our ultrasound on Monday! Not just because we might get to find out the sex of the baby, but getting to hear it's heartbeat and finally see it again.
Weekly Wisdom: As soon as you have an obvious bump, people will start looking at you warily and questioning whether you should be lifting or carrying anything. This makes grocery shopping so much fun. 
Milestones: Putting on weight, for the first time in about six weeks, and managing a few days without any nausea. 

Balanced Challenge: Day 2: How to Make Working from Home Work

While I know some people who would love the chance to work from home every day and spend more time their their family, I also have plenty of friends who look appalled when I talk about working from home. They couldn't concentrate at home, they tell me--there are too many distractions. They need to work in a location where other people are also working, to keep them accountable--an office, or a lab or a library. Or they simply can't handle being at home on their own all day, only seeing other adult human beings when the postman arrives. 

I'm entirely the opposite--I don't get much work done in a busy coffee shop, and I never spent more than a few hours at a time working in the library when I was at university. Unlike my husband, it doesn't take me ages to get into the "zone" of working, and my work isn't drastically altered if I'm interrupted by a distraction. It's not impossible for me to tear myself away from answering emails or writing my novel if something else requires my attention. In fact, while I was writing yesterday's blog post I stopped twice--once to hang laundry up on the washing line (because I knew it needed as much sun as it could get if it were to dry, and couldn't wait!) and again to make myself some lunch, as I've recently learned that hunger pains can quickly turn into nausea if I put off eating for too long. 

That said, I do sort of have a typical 9-5 workday schedule. Simon leaves for work around 8am every morning, and I try to make sure most of my responsibilities are tackled before he gets home around 5pm in the evening. There are some things I know I have to do every day--answering emails, washing dishes, tackling some sort of laundry-related task (washing it, ironing it, putting it away), writing, and making dinner. I tend not to schedule these tasks on a calendar, but I do aim to have dinner ready (or almost) by the time Simon gets home from work. 

Tricia shared her calendar on her blog post today, and I'm afraid that mine isn't quite as full or colourful. In fact, I'm sharing my calendar for the entire month because there just isn't enough on this week to make it look interesting! 

I don't schedule events that are weekly or daily occurrences, like attending church or home group, or going grocery shopping, because I'm not likely to forget them. The things that I do schedule are special or one-off events that Simon and I need to remember, such as having friends over for dinner, serving at church, dentist or midwife appointments and birthdays. 

I do have a constant to-do list sitting on my desk. I've tried different methods of keeping track of my to-do list, including splitting it into tasks for each day, or making it clear which tasks need to be done today, this week or just when I find the time. Neither of these have really worked for me--making daily tasks went out the window when my morning sickness started, as it just made me feel guilty about everything I wasn't getting done, and my daily and weekly tasks often overlapped or became repetitive. Here's what my current to-do list looks like:

Some things are merely reminders (I have an Audible voucher that expires soon), others are small tasks that I don't want to forget to pregnancy brain (requesting a book to review) and the rest are normal, daily tasks.

Today's Challenge

Working home from definitely isn't for everyone (I don't think my husband could drag himself away from fixing a bug to spend 10 minutes pegging up laundry!) but it definitely suits me. In today's chapter of Balanced, Tricia asks, "What are some benefits from working at home that you've experienced?"

• Compared to the last four years that I've spent studying at university, my life has stress and pressure, which has vastly improved both my mental and physical health. There are definitely deadlines to meet and tasks to complete on a regular basis, but the atmosphere of working from home has made a big difference for me. I've struggled with IBS and SAD for several years, and both conditions are aggravated by stress, and my change in working lifestyle has definitely benefited both of these. 
• I've learned to be flexible and deal with change and the unexpected. I don't plan every second of my day, so I can deal with new tasks that pop up and require my attention.
• Having a flexible schedule also means that I can meet up with friends who also work from home or have atypical work lifestyles. I can make space in a morning or afternoon to pop into town and have tea with a friend. 
• And as a result of this, evenings and weekends are freed up for spending time with my husband! That's not to say that we don't meet up with people during these times, but if I can meet up with someone on an afternoon rather than an evening, I will, as it means more time with my husband. Especially with a little one on the way, we value every moment we have together, even if we're just hanging out in the same room reading or watching a film. 
• Not every day is the same, and I appreciate this. I like some continuity, but I'm not sure if I could handle doing the exact same things every day, to a schedule. 
• I'm learning flexible time management, and although I know I do need to improve this (I'm considering scheduling a specific hour into my day to write, as I often neglect this over other responsibilities), I'm mostly happy with my time management. 
• We have a healthier, calmer lifestyle. Essential housework is nearly always dealt with before Simon gets home from work, meaning that we don't spend our evenings cleaning or doing laundry. We have time to relax. While Simon cooks at the weekends, I handle meals during the week, meaning that I have time to cook healthy, balanced meals for us. This is especially important for me, because my IBS is diet-controlled. Yes, we eat frozen pizzas occasionally and hot dogs with onion rings and corn on the cob is one of our favourite quick and easy meals, but I'm grateful that we have the time and money to eat healthily.
• We don't have to worry about additional travel expenses to get me to and from work, and childcare won't cost us a penny, since I'll be at home! 

This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!

Balanced Challenge Day 1: Looking Ahead to Tomorrow To Set Goals for Today

I have a confession to make. Although I read a lot of books (29 so far this year) in a variety of formats (paperback, hardback, ebook, audiobook, etc), I'm pretty terrible at actually finishing a non-fiction book. I have at least three non-fiction books on my Currently Reading shelf on my Kindle that I've reached 25% on and then unintentionally abandoned when I got distracted by a novel. I think this may be a side-effect of studying at university for the last four years--I simply cannot read a non-fiction book without taking stopping to take notes, which makes my reading experience last a lot longer than it normally would, were I reading fiction. 

Unless I change my non-fiction reading habits dramatically, I know I'm going to struggle even more when there's a baby in the house. Even so, I've aimed to read at least ten non-fiction books in 2014, and I've already managed to knock four books off that challenge. Balanced: Finding Center as a Work-at-Home Mom by Tricia Goyer will hopefully be book #5 in that list.

When Simon and I learned that I was pregnant in November, I will admit that I began to worry about how I was going to balance all my responsibilities--housework, writing, reviewing, editing, and now a baby. To make matters worse, I pretty much abandoned my writing altogether when my morning sickness kicked it up a notch in early December. We had only told a few people we were pregnant at this point, so whenever anyone asked me how my writing was doing, I lied and told them I was in the editing stages of my current novel. Editing is boring, so no one tends to ask much about it, but I felt guilty--should I really be managing to write and edit novels right now? Or is getting the dishes washed without puking enough of an achievement? 

One of the non-fiction books that I've been dipping in and out of for the last few months is Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream, a 40-day devotional by Holley Gerth (see what I mean about procrastinating on non-fiction? This book should have been finished way back in 2013 if it only takes 40 days to read!) One of the devotions that I read in early January was about not having to pursue every opportunity that comes your way and not feeling guilty about saying "No" to certain things. The phrase "You don't have to do it all" popped out at me (one which also appears in the first chapter of Balanced!), and I decided that "Balance" should be my word for 2014. Shortly after reading this devotion, I saw Tricia's new book being advertised, and I had a feeling that now would be the right time to read it. I might not be a mum yet, but it's never too early to start thinking about how I'm going to balance all of my responsibilities.

Since I'm horrible at sticking with a non-fiction book, Tricia's 11-day challenge seemed like the perfect motivation to get me to read this book in a reasonable time-frame.

About the book:
Since Tricia is a stay-at-home mother and writer, I can relate to her journey a lot. (In fact, today I learned that she began her full-time writing career at twenty-two, just like me!) However, a lot of the skills required to balance housework, childcare and writing can be applied to other work-at-home careers. This isn't exclusively a book for writers, but it is a faith-based book, so non-Christians may struggle to relate to some of Tricia's experiences or advice. 

Today's Challenge

In the first chapter of Balanced, Tricia talks about how deciding what we want to achieve as a family can help us to determine what steps to take, and avoid feeling overwhelmed or stressed out by unnecessary responsibilities. By determining principles, values or activities that particularly matter to our family, we can make better decisions by pin-pointing whether a certain opportunity would benefit our family, or stop us from being able to focus on what really matters.

Since we don't have children yet (still 4.5 months to go!), it's difficult to decide exactly what's going to matter to us the most when we have children, but there are some things that Simon and I have long felt are important to us. These might not be things that are important to your family, as every individual and family has different values they put specific emphasis on. 

What do we want to achieve as a family? What will matter five years from now--ten years from now? What will mold our children into God-serving adults? What will bring peace--not stress--to our home?

• Although we don't yet know how we're going to educate our children, we want to be involved in their education. We want to encourage them in the skills and activities that they enjoy, to make learning fun for them, and take advantage of our own skills to help them learn. 
• While we want to encourage our children in their natural talents, we don't want to force them to devote extra time to activities they don't enjoy, even if it is something they're good at. Sometimes it's better to focus on something we really enjoy, even if it's harder for us to grasp.
• We want to make sure our children have time to play, spend time with their family and friends, and generally enjoy being a kid, even if this means only taking one extracurricular activity at a time. We don't want to be a taxi service to our children's activities--and not having a car will probably help us achieve this!
• We want to have breakfast and dinner together as a family every day (excluding special occasions or date night), and encourage conversation and prayer at these meals.
• We want to encourage our children to try new foods, and even revisit ones they've previously thought they didn't like. We want them to be involved in cooking from a young age, to develop adventurous tastes, not be scared to try new foods, and learn that our tastes can change (especially since mum didn't used to like onions at all!)
• We want to involve our children in household tasks early on, providing that they are suitable for that age (no ironing for the three-year-old), and to make them see that this is part of being and serving your family, not a "chore".
• We want to be an active part of our church, although how we are active might change over the years. (Right now Simon and I both help to lead the children's church, and Simon plays guitar in the band while I serve on the hospitality team).
• We want to encourage a love of reading, as well as other methods of storytelling and art forms. We want to read together as a family each night, even when our children are babies. 
• And most importantly: We want to be open to change and unexpected opportunities, and to not be too set in our plans for the future.A year ago, Simon was planning to study for his PhD while I worked as a teacher or a librarian, and we didn't think we'd be starting our family until we were at least 25. Now Simon is working full-time as a software engineer, we're expecting our first child just a month before my 23rd birthday, and I've been able to focus on my writing for the first year post-graduation. Sometimes life takes you on an entirely different route from the one you anticipated! 

Since our post-graduation future ended up being so incredibly different from the one we imagined (but also so much better!) it's hard for me to answer questions like, "Where do we want to be ten years from now?" I try not to set too many concrete plans for the future, but I do know that ten years from now we'll both be around 33. We'd like to have two or three children by this time, and have bought a house. For me, I'd like to have published my first novel. I'm not sure if we'll still be living in Edinburgh, or if Simon will have embraced a different job opportunity that takes us away from this city. For now, we're happy here, but we're not scared of change.

The thing that struck me most about the first chapter of Balanced is that the values that matter to you should influence the direction your family takes; not what values others promote. Sometimes we find ourselves contemplating X or Y because someone in our family or church or workplace is doing X or Y. Will it make us a worse wife/mother/writer if we aren't doing that too? I know that I've missed some online writing pitches or competitions because the timing wasn't write--we were moving house, I had another project to work on, or I was simply too busy puking. But I've also taken advantage of other ones where the timing was better, and those worked out well for me. 

I can't take part in every opportunity that comes my way, and the same goes for our family. Because our family is our top priority, this affects certain activities we take part in or choices we make. Sometimes we say "No" to an invitation to a party, because Simon and I want to have a date night together. Sometimes we say "No" to serving in a certain ministry at church because we already serve in other ways that are more relevant to our giftings. Simon has turned down job interviews for companies that might have a more popular name or better pay because his current job is flexible for someone with a young family, has a reasonable commute, and won't require us to move. While we could afford to buy a house right now, packing, moving and decorating would be too stressful with a baby on the way in a few short months. 

We might have friends who are changing jobs, buying houses, attending writing conferences, starting new ministries, etc, and we wholeheartedly support them--while also being aware that we don't have to do all those things too. As Tricia says in Balanced, "Too often we compare our weaknesses with other people's strengths, only to find ourselves coming up short." A friend might be buying a house or a car, but they're not expecting a baby, or paying off their student loans. X works for them, while Y suits us right now. 

Of course, there is no perfect balance. Today I've managed to tackle a lot of housework and editing responsibilities, but there have been days when I've been too sick to do more than wash the breakfast dishes and order groceries to be delivered. I'm learning more and more (thanks to my pregnancy) that flexibility is sometimes key to finding some sort of peace in my current situation. Balance doesn't necessarily mean making a colour-coded schedule for the day and following it to the letter to ensure that I've spent equal amounts of time on my writing, housework, editing and family. For me, balance means trusting that I'm doing what's right for me and my family at the moment. 

This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!

18 Weeks

How far along? 18 weeks & 5 days
Total weight gain/loss: Still 5lbs less than my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm convinced the baby must be eating up all my excess fat as I don't know how it can be getting so big without me gaining weight!
Maternity clothes? I'm still wearing some of my normal tops and skirts, but for jeans I'm entirely sticking to maternity trousers. Dresses are half and half. My winter coat is too tight and my spring jacket only does up partially, so I'm praying for warm weather so I don't have to invest in a maternity jacket.
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: Getting better. I had a lot of broken sleep at the start of the week because my bump felt really uncomfortable when I slept on either side, but the baby must have rearranged itself because I'm sleeping better now.
Best moment this week: This week hasn't been amazing as I came down with a virus, but I've been feeling the baby move more, and my bump is definitely getting bigger. Simon came home from work one day, looked at me and said in an amazed voice, "It's huge!" 
Movement: Not consistently, but I'm definitely feeling it at some point each day. It's most obvious when I'm in the bath, or sitting on the same position for long periods of time.
Cravings/Aversions: None this week, but I scrapped a plan to make a soup with chicken thighs that needed to be de-boned as I don't think I can deal with quite that much raw meet right now. Pre-chopped chicken is the way to go when you're feeling nauseas! 
Gender guesses: Simon is pretty much convinced it's a girl, and I was for a while, but occasionally I think it's a boy. We're pretty much settled on names now, so we're happy either way :)
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? Still in
What I miss: Wearing belts around my waist and being able to button shirts up fully. 
What I am looking forward to: Seeing the baby again in two weeks at our ultrasound!
Weekly Wisdom: People will tell you your hair gets more luscious and full when you're pregnant. If you have crazy long hair and live in a windy country, it might just get more knotted. Invest in a de-tangling conditioner!
Milestones: Nothing super major this week, but my coat getting too tight is kind of a big deal, I guess? Also, I can no longer leap back up into standing position whenever I crouch down to pick something off the floor. I feel like an old lady ;)

17 Weeks

I don't look amazing in this photograph, but it is significant because I used to always wear this top with a belt around my waist (far too uncomfortable now!) and it used to lie flat against my stomach. It might not be the most flattering shirt I own, but it stretches a lot ;)

Last week must have been rather busy, as we didn't manage to take a photograph! But week 17 is exciting for us as I'm definitely into maternity clothes, my physical morning sickness seems to have gone, and we're pretty sure we've both felt the baby move!

How far along? 17 weeks & 3 days
Total weight gain/loss: Still 5lbs less than my pre-pregnancy weight. I haven't gained anything for weeks now, but at least I'm not losing weight any more!
Maternity clothes? Yes! A friend and I went shopping on Tuesday and I picked up two pairs of jeans and two dresses from New Look's maternity range, which is super cute. Most of my tops and skirts still fit, but even my biggest jeans (deliberately bought one size bigger than my normal jeans) were digging in uncomfortably. Maternity jeans are so comfortable, and I particularly like having some support over my bump now that it's getting bigger.
Stretch marks? Nope, although I've been given tons of recommendations of creams to try if they do appear.
Sleep: It did get better last week, but now every position I lie in seems to be uncomfortable. I've started sleeping on my side with a pillow under my bump, which seems to make my sleep less broken than it was before, but still not perfect.
Best moment this week: We've had a lot of great moments this week! Finding cute maternity clothes, and discovering just how comfortable maternity jeans are :) Also, managing to go twelve days without being sick, which is my current record. And definitely feeling the baby move.
Movement: Yes! I've been feeling weird twinges for about a week and a half now, but it's becoming more obvious that it's the baby, not just my insides rearranging themselves. Sometimes the movements are really faint, but other times Simon can feel them as well. We've discovered that the baby moves around a lot when I'm in the bath, which feels quite weird. We're not sure where it gets its love of swimming from because neither of us are strong swimmers ;)
Cravings/Aversions: No cravings this week, but I'm avoiding any breakfast food with raisins in it at the moment, just because I've thrown up too many bagels, hot cross buns and slices of fruit loaf to face eating anything in like that in the mornings.
Gender guesses: We've both been thinking that it's a girl for a couple of weeks now, although I did have a dream about a boy baby the other night.
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? Still in, but not as much as it was a few weeks ago.
What I miss: Uninterrupted sleep and being able to lie comfortably.
What I am looking forward to: We get to see our baby again at 20 weeks, and hear its heartbeat for the first time, so definitely that! 
Weekly Wisdom: I'm afraid I'm all out of wisdom this week ;)
Milestones: I've started wearing maternity clothes, we're hopefully (fingers crossed!) past the physical morning sickness stage, and we felt the baby move! An exciting week for us, for sure.

15 Weeks

As you can see, my bump looks different depending on how I'm standing. But it's definitely there now!

How far along? 15 weeks and 5 days
Total weight gain/loss: Still the same as last week. I haven't lost any weight, but I haven't gained any either, so I'm still about 5lbs less than my pre-pregnancy weight. I was sure I would have gained some since my bump got a lot bigger this week, but apparently not.
Maternity clothes? Nearly there! Most of my skirts still fit (sitting on my waist rather than my hips) but nearly all of my jeans need an elastic band to keep them shut. I was hoping to try on some maternity clothes this weekend when we went shopping in Livingston, but we couldn't find a single store with a maternity range. 
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: It was good earlier in the week, but I've had broken sleep for the last four days in a row. Initially it was because Simon kept stealing the duvet and I'd wake up because I was cold, but last night I think the baby must have been having a little disco as I kept waking up for no apparent reason. 
Best moment this week: My bump suddenly got really obvious on Tuesday, which was really exciting! We took a picture at the weekend because I seemed to have a little bit of a bump, but it seemed to double in size on Tuesday. I definitely look pregnant now, whereas previously I might have just looked a little bloated.
Movement: I don't think I've felt anything, but I am wondering if the baby was moving around a lot last night and waking me up. 
Cravings/Aversions: No cravings this week, but I can't stand the smell of burnt toast (I keep asking Simon to clean out the toaster) or eggs. Making Simon's lunch in the kitchen right after we've used the toaster is a challenge. We also made pulled pork in the slow cooker overnight, which was delicious, but I've discovered that the smell of pork first thing in the morning does not sit well with my nausea. 
Gender guesses: Up until this week I've switched my guesses every day, but I've been thinking it's a girl for several days now. Simon doesn't have any guesses right now.
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? Definitely still in.
What I miss: Uninterrupted sleep!
What I am looking forward to: Completely getting past the morning sickness/nausea stage, which is still lingering on well into the fifteenth week. It's better, but I'd love for it to go away completely. And buying maternity clothes, since Livingston's shops were sadly lacking.
Weekly Wisdom: Put all the clothes that no longer fit into storage so that you don't look at them longingly every time you open your wardrobe. 
Milestones: We have a very obvious bump now! Plus, my energy levels are much better (we stayed out until 10pm on Wednesday) and my nausea is mostly improved. 

14 Weeks

I wish I could have one of those cool mommy blogs where I write about all the outfits I've been sewing for our baby and show you all the all-natural, organic goodies I've been baking. But given how sick I've been the last month or so, that isn't going to happen. I even broke down last week in Tesco and bought muffins because I didn't feel up to baking anything, which is really unusual for me. But since I've seen this on other people's blogs and it seemed cute, here are some facts about our pregnancy so far:

How far along? 14 weeks and 4 days
Total weight gain/loss: My weight has been fluctuating a lot due to morning sickness, and I got a bit worried last week as I seemed to have lost half a stone (I've no idea where, as I'm growing out of all my clothes!), but I've put a little bit back on. Right now I'm about 4lbs less than I was at week 9 when I saw my midwife.
Maternity clothes? I'm definitely getting close! I've been wearing dresses all week as I don't feel comfortable with anything tight over my bump, and even those are feeling too tight. We're going shopping on Saturday and I think I'll definitely be in need of new clothes by then, even if they're just larger dresses.
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: Getting better. I'm not waking up as much during the night (unless the neighbour's dog is really acting up) but Simon has been stealing the duvet a lot recently, which hasn't helped! I'm having really bizarre dreams several times a week, which has been going on for a while.
Best moment this week: Getting out of the first trimester! Our due date was wrongly calculate twice, so towards the end we felt like we'd been struck in the first trimester forever. Given our new due date, I think we realised we were pregnant at 3 weeks, which is crazy early, so no wonder the first third of our pregnancy felt like it was going on for ages.
Movement: Not yet
Cravings: I was craving fish and chips for a couple of weeks, but I think that may be linked to the fish and chip shop less than a minute's walk from our house! We satisfied that craving last week, and I don't think I've been craving anything else since then.
Gender guesses: I switch between genders every day, it seems. Right now I'm thinking it's a girl. I keep asking Simon what he thinks the baby is, and most of the time he doesn't have an opinion--although on Sunday he said he thought it was a boy.
Labor Signs: Fortunately not!
Belly Button in or out? Definitely still in.
What I miss: We've been watching Twin Peaks and one of the characters was raving about a brie sandwich in a recent episode. Although I can eat brie when it's cooked, it did make me wish I could just eat fresh brie. Also, I bought a ridiculously impractical top in a charity shop back in early November, which Simon and I have dubbed my "busty gothic pirate top". It was incredibly tight when I bought it, and I kept meaning to wear it one more time before I got too big, but I never got around to it. Looking at my stomach, there's no way I can squeeze into it now. Oh, and belts! I used to wear a lot of belts around my waist, and even if I stretch them out, it still feels really uncomfortable.
What I am looking forward to: Shopping on Saturday! My mum is taking us to various baby shops (Mothercare, Babies R Us and an independent shop near their home) and I'm probably going to have a peek in the maternity sections of some clothes shops as well. We're mainly looking at Moses baskets right now, as my parents are buying us one as a gift. Simon hasn't been into any baby shops yet, so it'll be lots of fun!
Weekly Wisdom: It is totally acceptable to throw some cute baby bibs into your trolley when you're grocery shopping in Tesco, especially when they're 5 for £3 ;)
Milestones: We're into the second trimester, and I had my second appointment with my midwife this week! Honestly, it wasn't terribly exciting, but I'm glad it was a quick, easy appointment as that means everything's going fine. All of our test results came back as expected--there's nothing wrong with me or the baby (not even anything tiny like an iron deficiency!), and apparently I'm immune to Rubella, so I suppose that was worth seven vials of blood to find out?! My stomach is measuring perfectly for our expected due date, so it seems we finally got it right!